it's been a while...

hi friends,
i'm glad to be back into the swing of school and the blog. probably from middle school on, i have kept some kind of either "diary" or prayer journal. and every once in a while i like looking back at those and not only laughing hysterically, but thinking how gracious and faithful my Heavenly Father is and has been. although i haven't experienced immense trials and hardships, i have been through those little "dramas" and uncertainties in life, and feelings of loneliness and all sorts of emotions (anger, bitterness, etc.). it's great to look back at those days and kindof ponder on them and laugh about them all at the same time...but mostly i like pondering over them and seeing how the Lord has been leading me the whole way. as kate said, i focus so much on the today that i forget the bigger picture...of purpose, of desiring the will of Him who has created me and brought me through life so far, and i get so zoned in on myself that it's easy to forget the Lord is constantly whispering "I am here, guiding you...I've been here the whole time". the past few weeks have been so incredibly busy, where it's been so easy to settle into that busy-ness and forget about delighting in the Lord and just sitting down and spending time getting to know Him more. i love those days at starbucks or even sitting in my bed, where i can completely focus on the Word...when i'm intentional about seeking Him. it made me almost jealous thinking you were at cambridge doing just that, kate! i constantly battle with trusting the Lord and opening up all parts of my life to Him, and letting Him become my King in reigning over every single problem, relationship, friendship, action, word, etc. i see also every day that i need Him...i want to know Him, i want to know more of Him and have HIM fill me and acknowledge that He is the only One that CAN fill my longings and desires. it's tough when there is that constant battle of submitting but wanting what we want...and then i remember He's done everything needed for us to be right with Him, we simply need to go to Him and believe that. as i think of more thoughts to share, i'll add them to the blog! i think this is all for now...leaving ya'll with some quotes/verses.
"all my lifelong i had panted for a drink from some cool spring, that i hoped would quench the burning of the thirst i felt within. hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved! Jesus satisfies all my longings, through His blood i now am saved.
feeding on the filth around me, till' my strength was almost gone, longed my soul for something better, only still to hunger on. poor i was and sought for riches something that would satisfy; but the dust i gathered round me, only mocked my soul's sad cry. Hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved! Jesus satisfies all my longings, through His blood i now am saved. well of water, ever springing, Bread of Life so rich and free, untold wealth that never faileth, my Redeemer is to me! hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved! Jesus satisfies all my longings, through His blood i now am saved." - satisfied
"by faith we see, as in a mirror dimly, the reflected image of His unbounded treasures, but when we actually see the heavenly things themselves, with our own eyes, how deep will be the stream of fellowship in which our soul shall bathe! until then, our loudest songs shall be reserved for our loving benefactor, Jesus Christ our Lord, whose love to us is wonderful, surpassing the love of a man for a woman". - spurgeon "morning and evening"