Hey Guys!

So, do ya'll get the emails saying that someone has commented on our blog? I might be the only one since I started the blog, I'm not sure. But someone other than people who are a part of the blog commented. How cool is that? We know that our blog has been an encouragement to at least one person. And Danielle, since our blog is your comment thing on your facebook page, I'm guessing more people than that visit our little blog. Therefore, we need to keep this going. We need to keep it going, not only for ourselves, but for the few people who might have been encouraged by what we were saying. I really enjoyed this blog, and I want to get it started back. For real this time. I also want to follow through with what I say, and not just say something but not follow through.

So where do I begin? I don't have a devotional, a song, or even a Bible verse. But, I have the lie that I've been believing lately, and the truth that God is revealing to me. So, this isn't anything new, I've been struggling with it for a while. I'm an art major. An art major doesn't lead to a specific job. I hope I can get a job at an art gallery in Charleston, but that's not guaranteed. Other than that, it feels like you have to go to grad school to get a job with an art major. I've been looking for jobs on-line, and it seems like I'm not even prepared for a secretary job. Here's the beginning of the lie I'm believing, that I'm a smart girl, but because I chose to be an art major, I have nothing that I am capable of doing. This lie leads me to think about the job that I'm sure I'm prepared for, the job that I am convinced I was created for: being a mother. Then I think about my age, 23. For as long as I can remember, okay, maybe that's an exageration, but since eighth or ninth grade, I've thought okay, I have this many years to wait until Ann became a wife, and this many years to wait until Mom became a wife. I'm now two years past the year that Ann became a wife, and maybe a year away from when she had her first child. I'm still five years away from when Mom became a wife, and seven away from when she became a mother. And here's what I begin to think. Mom says to this day that she wishes she could have had more children. But she didn't get started until she was 29 or 30 because she didn't get married until she was 28. I want 4 to 6 children. So I start to think, I'm running out of time. I need to have a year to date, then I need to have a year to be engaged. Then I need two years at least, just to be married. Okay, so if I meet my husband tomorrow, well then I'll be at least 28 before I can have a child. I'm running out of time!!!

So those are the thoughts, the lies, that are running through my head. I struggle with them on a daily basis. I guess I'm just putting it out there. And as I write it, I'm sorry I like to begin sentences with and, I begin to believe it more, and I begin to panic.

But, I also like to begin sentences with but, I also know what God has been reminding me of lately. The desire to be a mother, the desire to have children, and to create a family, is a desire that glorifies God. Its a desire that God created. When I begin to make it more important than him however, when I think that it isn't going to work out, I believe that God doesn't have control, then it becomes an idol. However, when I believe that it is a desire that comes from God, then I know I don't have to worry about it. I know that He will work it out in His timing and His way. The wondeful thing is, that if I leave it up to Him to fulfill, well then two children are just as great as six, and its okay if that's all I have. Its a desire that comes from Him, so I don't have to worry about it. He'll glorify Himself. He doesn't need my help. That doesn't mean I'm going to meet a guy tomorrow, it means that its okay if I don't.

So I started it back. Your turn :)