New Year!

so one of my resolutions is to try to write on the blog at least every other day...and if that dwindles, at least once every week.
alot of thoughts have been entering my head lately that i've been trying to be mindful of with prayer, but most of them i would rather try to take into my own hands and take control of. one of those is the future and what i will be doing after i graduate in may. when i tell people i'll be graduating, they automatically ask, "do you have a job lined up yet?" and i shyly answer, "well, i'm going to start sending my resume and applying to places this semester, but not job lined up yet." but even though i am trying to maintain calm on the outside, on the inside i am freaking out and panicing thinking, "what if i don't graduate at all?! what if i fail out? and if i do graduate, what if i don't get a job? what if the job i get is horrible?" and those questions and feelings just snowball into a million other anxious thoughts. but i have to somehow remember that the Lord is trustworthy and He has His plan already laid out for my life. and i have nothing to worry about but to trust Him.
i want ya'll to download a sermon (it's free) on iTunes. go to www.firstevan.org and go to resources. and click audio sermons (i think)...and under those there are several different categories. scroll down to women's ministries and there's an option or link where you can subscribe to the podcast there. and it will take you to iTunes where it will start downloading them. listen to the one by emily ozier, i think it's called more than conquerors. she goes through some verses in joshua that talk about how we need to trust Jesus even when we doubt Him and even when we are in the most difficult of times as Joshua and the Israelites were. it is a very encouraging word from the Lord.
another thought that's been entering my mind is how i feel so "comfortable" where i am in life with friendships, and i wonder if that's not all necessarily a good thing? should i branch out and widen my horizons or just stay in my little zone? and then i think what my motivations would be to widen my horizons and make new friends and they seem selfish...but in my heart, i want to widen them in order to love others and strangers with Christ's love. i've found it hard that when you have a really close group of people (sortof like what i had at auburn), you tend to get stuck, but then you end up knowing everything about everyone, and if you don't in that group of people then you are "left out" or you find your nutrition or growth stemming from if you know things...because if you don't then you should. i don't know, it's weird, but i have found myself thinking that alot lately. is it ok to widen horizons and go meet new people with surfacey motivations? or should we be in sincere prayer before we do, asking the Lord to fill our hearts with love so that we might branch out and extend our fellowship with others. i don't know if that made any sense, but those are things that have been running through my head lately too. i guess another reason i've thought alot about that is because i want to move to nashville when i graduate!
another thing i have been praying is that the Lord would ignite in me a deeper desire for His Word. i tend to just open my Bible and read some verses here or there, but this year i want to "study" the Word. i want to know why i believe it and why i believe it is truth to me personally.
well, this is all i can think of right now to share...i have missed blogging and i love this because it's almost like a diary that i can share with good friends :) and i know if we were all at taylor's getting chais or at cambridge coffee we would be talking about these things. what a blessing the fellowship of believers is and having a rich, deep community! love to you all!