Monday, September 7, 2009

So....hey! I have been the silent member of this ship for way too long. Though I've never actually posted on here, I have kept up with mostly all of your posts over the past year and have been really encouraged by them. So I just wanted to say thanks, Sarah, Kate, and Danielle...and attempt to become an active post-er.

Why the sudden motivation? I've definitely gotten more "in" to blogging these days and have found that I do enjoy it. And I agree with you, Sarah - this blog actually has purpose! It's a conversation, an encouragement, and a sharing of life among friends. Secondly, it's a great way to keep up with yall. Thirdly, I'm in desperate need of community (even if it's blog community) : ) Now that I'm home, there's kind of a lack of Christian friends in my life. I have my family, but there are virtually no young people here, or maybe I just haven't found them. Even at my church, our age is just kind of skipped. It kind of goes from high school to young marrieds, with no "young singles", or whatever I am, in between. All that to say, I LOVE the idea of going through a book of the Bible with yall. I am reading Romans right now, and about to start Ezekiel, but I am fine doing whatever. I like the idea of doing Ruth again for sure.

Since this blog started as kind of a singles' support group (that sounds lame, I don't know what to call it!), I guess I could start by telling you where I am with guy thing. For the past year or so, I've been saying that I'm okay with being single. Even forever, if that's what God wants. And I really feel that way. It hasn't been a huge struggle...yet. Here's the funny part: I'm not okay with being okay with being single. That probably doesn't make sense! Let me try to explain. I had a conversation with a friend, also single, this summer in Auburn, and I'm not sure how we got to this, but I mentioned I was okay with being single. She said she was too, and had been for a while, but the fact that she was okay with it has always really scared her. She explained that she of course wants to date and wants a husband one day, but that she definitely has a peace about being single. And because God knows this... she kind of wants to take it back. As in, "No, Lord, just because I'm okay with not ever getting married, please don't take the prospect of actually getting married away! I still want to! Don't misunderstand..." I totally agreed with her, because that is exactly the way I feel. I'm stuck between "I don't have to get married if it's not in Your plan" and a strong desire to have a husband and be a wife, sharing the most intimate relationship two people can share, and have children, be a mother. I feel like this desire has grown, even in the past few months, and is only going to grow as I get older. But for now, I am content to be single. Fortunately, as Sarah said, He does understand my desires infinitely more than I do, right now and always.

The chorus of one of Brooke Fraser's songs, "Love is Waiting", always gives me hope in the area of singleness. They are simple lyrics, but it's just a reminder to me that even if I'm longing for a boyfriend or sometimes just think it would be easier if I were married already, the one God has for me may not be ready, and I may not be ready either.

'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

By the way, I think the song is actually about her dating someone already but not being sure if he's "the one" (but I tend to bend lyrics to fit my situation....). Anyway, it's a beautiful song!

Danielle, I'm glad things are going well with you and Michael, and I'll be praying about Bloom (which sounds really cool). And Kate and Sarah, I love hearing about your lives at Auburn...miss that place so much and the people in it.

More to come and goodnight!




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