Ye Are His

march! spring is on its way.

2010-03-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

If you haven't noticed, today is an absolutely beautiful day! Or at least, it is here, and I hope it is wherever yall are : ) I came upon Psalm 19 after reading an excerpt from a book I bought a few weeks ago, Reflection on the Psalms by C.S. Lewis. He says about it, "I take this to be the greatest poem in the Psalter and one of the greatest lyrics in the world". It seems to be so fitting for this day. So first, here is the familiar Psalm:

1 The heavens are telling of the glory of God;

And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.

2 Day to day pours forth speech,

And night to night reveals knowledge.

3 There is no speech, nor are there words;

Their voice is not heard.

4 Their line has gone out through all the earth,

And their utterances to the end of the world.

In them He has placed a tent for the sun,

5 Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber;

It rejoices as a strong man to run his course.

6 Its rising is from one end of the heavens,

And its circuit to the other end of them;

And there is nothing hidden from its heat.

7 The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul;

The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.

8 The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;

The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.

9 The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;

The judgments of the LORD are true; they are righteous altogether.

10 They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold;

Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.

11 Moreover, by them Your servant is warned;

In keeping them there is great reward.

12 Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.

13 Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;

Let them not rule over me;

Then I will be blameless,

And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be acceptable in Your sight,

O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.

And here is some commentary by C.S. (this is why I love this pilgrim):

"First he thinks of the sky; how, day after day, the pageantry we see there shows us the splendour of its Creator. Then he thinks of the sun, the bridal joyousness of its rising, the unimaginable speed of its daily voyage from east to west. Finally, of its heat; not of course the mild heats of our climate but the cloudless, blinding, tyrannous rays hammering the hills, searching every cranny. The key phrase on which the whole poem depends is "there is nothing hid from the heat thereof". It pierces everywhere with its strong, clean ardour. ...The Law is "undefiled", the Law gives light, it is clean and everlasting, it is "sweet"....One hardly needs to add that this poet is wholly free from self-righteousness and the last section is concerned with his "secret faults". As he has felt the sun, perhaps in the desert, searching him out in every nook of shade where he attempted to hide from it, so he feels the Law searching out all the hiding-places of his soul."

It's comforting to know that we can't hide from the Lord, that He knows it all, and He is revealing and repeating His truths to us daily.

Enjoy the beautiful day! I know I am...I have a much-needed half day off.

Spurgeon on Hebrews

2010-02-25T07:25:00.000-08:00

I've got some wonderful words for ya'll! I've just begun to study Hebrews, so I looked up some commentaries online. I found this sermon from Charles Spurgeon, and it just left me feeling so refreshed. Basically, he's preaching the Gospel.

Here's the scripture:

His Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds; who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high."
- Hebrews 1:2

And here's Spurgeon's thoughts on it.

...But it matters not how many worlds there are; God made them all by Jesus Christ: "All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made." I see him standing, as it were, at the anvil of each stroke of his majestic arm. It was Christ who was there, - "the wisdom of God and the power of God," as Paul calls him, - creating all things. I love to think that he who created all things is also our Savior, for then he can create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me; and if I need a complete new creation, - as I certainly do, - he is equal to the task. Man cannot create the tiniest midge that ever danced in the summer evening's ray; man cannot create even a single grain of dust; but Christ created all worlds, so he can make us new creatures by the wondrous power of his grace.

This part refrences the temple from the Old Testament. I find it so exciting to see how God so often refreneced that, how detailed He is, how thorough, and how far back His plan has gone.

So let us pass on to the next clause: "and the express image of his person." I said a minute ago, "Shade your eyes;" but I might now say, "Shut them," as I think of the excessive brilliance described by these words: "the express image of his person." Whatever God is, Christ is; the very likeness of God, the very image of his person." Dr. John Owen, who loves to explain the spiritual meaning in the Epistle to the Hebrews by the types in the OldTestament, which is evidently what Paul himself was doing, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, - explains the brightness of the Father's glory by a reference to the Shekinah over the mercy-seat, which was the only visible token of the presence of God there. An extraordinary brightness is said to have shone forth from between the cherubim. Now, Christ is God manifesting himself in his brightness. But, on his forehead, the high priest wore a golden plate, upon which was deeply engraven, in Hebrew letters, the inscription, "Holiness to (or of) Jehovah." Dr. Owen thinks there is a reference, in this "express image of hs person," - this cut-out inscription of God, as it were, - to that which was on the forehead of the high priest, and which represented the glorious wholeness or holiness of Jehovah, whi is his great glory. Well, whether the apostle referred to this or not, it is for you and me to take off our shoes from our feet in the presence of Christ, "the brightness of his Father's glory, and the express image of his person." To me, these words are like the bush in which God dwelt, yet which was not consimed, they are all on fire; what more shall I say of them?

"upholding all things by the word of his power," Just think of it. This great world of ours is upheld by Christ's word. If he did not speak it into continued existence, it would go back into the nothingness from whence it sprang. There exists not a being who is independent of the Mediator, save only the ever-blessed Father and the Spirit. "By him all things consist," that is, continue to hold together. Just as these pillars uphold these galleries, or as the foundations uphold a house, so does Jesus Christ "uphold all things by the word of his power." Only think of it; those innumerable worlds of light that make illimitable space to look as though it were sprinkled over with golden dust, would all die out, like so many expiring sparks, and cease to be, if the Christ who died on Calvary did not will that they should continue to exist. I cannot bring out of my text all the wondrous truths that it contains, I only wish I could; but, surely, if Christ upholds all things, he can uphold me. If the word of his power upholds earth and heaven, surely that same word can uphold you, poor trembling heart if you will trust him. There need be no fear about that matter; come and prove it for yourself. May his blessed Spirit enable you to do so even now!

I know this is getting long, but its just all so good!

He who is all that I have tried to describe, did what? First, he effectually purged our sins: "when he had by himself purged our sins." ...The sweepers of the streets, the scullions of the kitchen, the cleansers of the sewers, have honorable work compared with this purging sin. Yet the holy Christ, incapable of sin, stooped to purge our sins. I want you to meditate upon that wondrous work; and to remember that he purged our sins even before we had committed them? There they stood, before the sight of God, as already existent in all their hideousness; but Christ came, and purged them, this, surely, ought to make us sing the song of songs. Before I sinned, he purged my sins away; singular and strange as it is, yet it is so.

For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead workds to serve the living God? He gave himself for us; not only his blood, but all that constituted himself, his Godhead, and his manhood. All that he had, and all that he was, he gave as the ransom price of us; can any of you extimate the value of that price?

"In those days, and in that time, saith the Lord, the iniquity of Israel shall be sought for, and there shall be none; and the sins of Judah, and they shall not be found: for I will pardon them whom I reserve." Shall I tell you where your sings are? Christ purged them, and God said, "I will cast all their sins behind my back." Where is that? All things are before God. I do not know where behind God's back can be. It is nowhere, for God is everywhere present, seeing everything. So that is where my sins have gone; I speak with the utmost reverence when I say that they have gone where Jehovah himself can never see them. Christ so purged them that they have ceased to be.

It is indeed amazing love that made him stoop to this purgation, this expiation, this atonement for sin; but, because he was who and what he was, he did it thoroughly, perfectly. He said, "It is finished," and I believe him. I do not - I cannot - for a moment admit that there is anything to be done by us to complete that work, or anything required of us to make the annihilation of our sins complete.

"When he had by himself purged our sins, he sat down on the right hand of the majesty on high." ...Notice first, that this implies rest. When the high priest went within the veil, he did not sit down...The high priest of old had not finished his work; the next year another atoning sacrifice would be needed; but our Lord has completed his atonement...There he sits, and I am sure he would not be sitting if he had not finished the salvation of his people...But Christ is resting now; my eye, by faith, can see him sitting there, so I know that -

Love's redeeming work is done; Fought the fight, the battle won.

I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS DEVO FROM SPURG.

2010-02-04T06:36:00.001-08:00

Morning Devotion
Thursday, February 04, 2010
"The love of the Lord." --Hosea 3:1
Believer, look back through all thine experience, and think of the way whereby the Lord thy God has led thee in the wilderness, and how he hath fed and clothed thee every day--how he hath borne with thine ill manners--how he hath put up with all thy murmurings, and all thy longings after the flesh pots of Egypt--how he has opened the rock to supply thee, and fed thee with manna that came down from heaven. Think of how his grace has been sufficient for thee in all thy troubles--how his blood has been a pardon to thee in all thy sins--how his rod and his staff have comforted thee. When thou hast thus looked back upon the love of the Lord, then let faith survey his love in the future, for remember that Christ's covenant and blood have something more in them than the past. He who has loved thee and pardoned thee, shall never cease to love and pardon. He is Alpha, and he shall be Omega also: he is first, and he shall be last. Therefore, bethink thee, when thou shalt pass through the valley of the shadow of death, thou needest fear no evil, for he is with thee. When thou shalt stand in the cold floods of Jordan, thou needest not fear, for death cannot separate thee from his love; and when thou shalt come into the mysteries of eternity thou needest not tremble, "For I am persuaded, that neither death; nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Now, soul, is not thy love refreshed? Does not this make thee love Jesus? Doth not a flight through illimitable plains of the ether of love inflame thy heart and compel thee to delight thyself in the Lord thy God? Surely as we meditate on "the love of the Lord", our hearts burn within us, and we long to love him more.

the experience must come alone.

2010-01-12T05:26:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry that i have not posted in a while. i have to get ready for class but i read this this morning in "my utmost for his highest" and found it very truthful... about facing things alone. good for the time we are at in our lives.

Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. And Elisha . . . saw him no more —2 Kings 2:11-12

It is not wrong for you to depend on your "Elijah" for as long as God gives him to you. But remember that the time will come when he must leave and will no longer be your guide and your leader, because God does not intend for him to stay. Even the thought of that causes you to say, "I cannot continue without my ’Elijah.’ " Yet God says you must continue.

Alone at Your "Jordan" ( Kings 2:14 ). The Jordan River represents the type of separation where you have no fellowship with anyone else, and where no one else can take your responsibility from you. You now have to put to the test what you learned when you were with your "Elijah." You have been to the Jordan over and over again with Elijah, but now you are facing it alone. There is no use in saying that you cannot go— the experience is here, and you must go. If you truly want to know whether or not God is the God your faith believes Him to be, then go through your "Jordan" alone.

Alone at Your "Jericho" ( 2 Kings 2:15 ). Jericho represents the place where you have seen your "Elijah" do great things. Yet when you come alone to your "Jericho," you have a strong reluctance to take the initiative and trust in God, wanting, instead, for someone else to take it for you. But if you remain true to what you learned while with your "Elijah," you will receive a sign, as Elisha did, that God is with you.

Alone at Your "Bethel" ( 2 Kings 2:23 ). At your "Bethel" you will find yourself at your wits’ end but at the beginning of God’s wisdom. When you come to your wits’ end and feel inclined to panic— don’t! Stand true to God and He will bring out His truth in a way that will make your life an expression of worship. Put into practice what you learned while with your "Elijah"— use his mantle and pray (see 2 Kings 2:13-14 ). Make a determination to trust in God, and do not even look for Elijah anymore.

contentment

2010-01-11T11:27:00.000-08:00

it seems like the theme that runs through our age and gender at the point in our lives now is contentment. i feel like in every Christian circle, if i talk to a girl my age it is about contentment either in finding a job, finishing school, being in a relationship, etc. it might just be my speculation, but it seems like this is the case. it's cool, though, how we can relate to each other about these things and how we can encourage one another and build one another up with things the Lord shares with us in our walk with Him. claire- i loved what you shared in your last post...that has been recirculating over and over in my head how much i am always thinking, "well i'm just going to move to nashville for something different and to branch out!" even though i pray for the Lord's Will and for Him to open doors wherever He sees fit for me, i also have things in mind (jobs, places i will end up) that i want...which there's nothing wrong in praying specifically for, but i tend to put on my blinders and only focus on where i see myself and the motives behind them are selfish. but i loved that you talked about being content where you are...what does contentment really look like when it is lived out? i feel like i have so much to learn and grasp before i really understand and know what true contentment is like. there are so many areas where i don't feel content. anyway, i think especially this semester the Lord is weighing on my heart already to lean on Him and seek Him for contentment and figuring out where He wants me down the road.
i think i told ya'll about a sermon given by emily ozier about a chapter in joshua. and how she hates change in her life...but how joshua accepted that change and trusted God and God brought about great things because of that. i highly recommend that you listen to that sermon...it is awesome. one of the things she talks about is how even in the midst of trials and difficult situations, Abraham's faith was built on nothing else but God. in hebrews 11:8-10 it says, "By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, NOT KNOWING WHERE HE WAS GOING. by faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with isaac and jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE CITY WHICH HAS FOUNDATIONS, WHOSE ARCHITECT AND BUILDER IS GOD". when i was listening to this lesson again this morning, i was thinking to myself how i am always so concerned with life and the future and what i'll be doing in 5,10,15 years. and i get so consumed with school, stresses of life, and worrying about petty things that i so often forget this life should not revolve around me. my thoughts, actions, words, etc should not be centered on myself, because this is not all there is if i am holding on to the hope and assurance that the kingdom of God is coming. how i long to live kingdom-minded! "For yet in a very little while, He who is coming WILL COME, and will not delay" hebrews 10:37.
as i was unloading the dishwasher last night at my house, i was thinking about how love is a choice and it is something that comes from Christ filling us and we first must allow Him to fill. but as i was unloading it, i was thinking love is basically about little choices...i didn't want to unload the dishwasher or fold kitchen towels that had come out of the dryer. my mom has had a stomach bug for a few days and still didn't feel good last night. but i was just thinking, we shouldn't feel like we HAVE to do things for people or that we are obligated. if we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we long to serve people and our joy comes from the love of God that fills us and that can overflow into every second of our lives. our Christian life does not consist of one or two days in the week where we go to church and then spend a few minutes with Him...it is our lives. it is how we spend our time every minute of the day, how we spend money, what we fill our minds with etc. And why wouldn't we want to make our entire lives about Him? He has given us hope, eternal and abundant life, joy, salvation, redemption through the death that He chose of His own Son. we should want to share that with the world! and unloading the dishwasher or serving someone in line before ourselves or offering our things to someone are all tiny miniscule ways we can and should live out our Christ-mindedness.
ok last thing---download the sermon on The Carefulness Factor by Taylor Park from firstevan.org....go to resources...sermons on-line...and download or listen to the one entitled this. amazing. i think every believer needs to hear this and apply.
love.

Freedom

2010-01-11T08:09:00.001-08:00

Good Morning! Claire I loved your last post. I'm so excited for you that you've found that class to be a part of. I know that must be wonderful and will really be encouraging during this stage of your life.

So I've been thinking about the freedom that Christ bought for us through His death and how much I cling to it and how much I don't even acknowledge it.

Galations 5:1 says "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."

Isaiah 61:1-3 says "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

Yesterday, Steven was preaching from 1 Peter, and he was talking about the freedom that we push aside. He gave this example. He said its as if a husband saved his wife from a rapist with hiv, and in the process was killed. It would be as if the woman, after the funeral, called up the rapist and asked him to meet her at a hotel room. That's the picture of our clinging to our past life, to our sin. I am that woman. I'm so often that woman. Its in the small amount of time I spend in God's Word and prayer, its in my need to watch my certain television shows, my inability so often to be self-disciplined, the way I can spend my money, my insecurities, and my fear of the future, of how everything's going to come together. I cling to these things living as if I have no other option, no power to fight them. In reality, the power of Christ is in me to fight them; the power of Christ has defeated them. Obviously, I'm a sinner and I'm going to continue to fail, but I can certainly live with the knowledge that God has freed me from these things.

The Lord has prepared for us garlands instead of ashes, oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of the spirit of mourning. I pray that I would begin to cling to the things of God instead.

2010-01-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

I have to report a major praise. Living at home for the past 5 months, I have not been able to find a community of believers like I had in Auburn. I haven't felt at home in my church, even thought about visiting another one. A few weeks ago, I ran into a girl I went to high school with who goes to my church and has just moved back home after graduating. Unbeknownst to me, she is involved in a "young professionals" Sunday School class that I didn't even know existed (at my own church!) and said I should definitely come along. I have only been twice, but it has been such a blessing already! It's a small group, which I kind of like, and we have a married couple who I already know that teaches it. They are going to be alternating teaching time with a woman in her mid-thirties, married with no children. She taught today and seems really cool and relatable. She'll be teaching us about the ways of God...really just who He is and His core characteristics.

Today we talked about the fact that He is love, and the realities of that love. A major point was that He is a God of discipline and I want to share the definition she gave us: discipline - what happens when our loving Father steps in to lift us away from our own destructive and unfruitful pursuits. The phrasing really hit me. I am way capable of pursuing things that aren't for His glory. In fact, I have come to admit to myself that one of the main reasons I want to move off to a big city is so everyone will think that I'm doing something really cool with my life. That doesn't mean moving is wrong, because I honestly think sometimes I'd be happier in a place with more people my age and more job opportunities, but if I'm doing it to please men and to feel better about myself, then it's a selfish move. God hasn't opened any door for me to move yet, and I believe He is working on me in the area of contentment, one I struggle with repeatedly. In other words, He is disciplining me - to simply love Him and follow Him, knowing there will be showers of blessings, but not following Him in order to get the blessings, but because of who He is. I'm coming to see more and more each day that living in this humble state (with my parents in my hometown, not knowing exactly what I'm good at or what kind of work I want to be doing) is not some sort of punishment from our Lord, but in fact, is His good and perfect discipline, which is completely out of His love for us.

"...but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness." - Hebrews 12:10-11

New Year!

2010-01-09T05:41:00.000-08:00

so one of my resolutions is to try to write on the blog at least every other day...and if that dwindles, at least once every week.
alot of thoughts have been entering my head lately that i've been trying to be mindful of with prayer, but most of them i would rather try to take into my own hands and take control of. one of those is the future and what i will be doing after i graduate in may. when i tell people i'll be graduating, they automatically ask, "do you have a job lined up yet?" and i shyly answer, "well, i'm going to start sending my resume and applying to places this semester, but not job lined up yet." but even though i am trying to maintain calm on the outside, on the inside i am freaking out and panicing thinking, "what if i don't graduate at all?! what if i fail out? and if i do graduate, what if i don't get a job? what if the job i get is horrible?" and those questions and feelings just snowball into a million other anxious thoughts. but i have to somehow remember that the Lord is trustworthy and He has His plan already laid out for my life. and i have nothing to worry about but to trust Him.
i want ya'll to download a sermon (it's free) on iTunes. go to www.firstevan.org and go to resources. and click audio sermons (i think)...and under those there are several different categories. scroll down to women's ministries and there's an option or link where you can subscribe to the podcast there. and it will take you to iTunes where it will start downloading them. listen to the one by emily ozier, i think it's called more than conquerors. she goes through some verses in joshua that talk about how we need to trust Jesus even when we doubt Him and even when we are in the most difficult of times as Joshua and the Israelites were. it is a very encouraging word from the Lord.
another thought that's been entering my mind is how i feel so "comfortable" where i am in life with friendships, and i wonder if that's not all necessarily a good thing? should i branch out and widen my horizons or just stay in my little zone? and then i think what my motivations would be to widen my horizons and make new friends and they seem selfish...but in my heart, i want to widen them in order to love others and strangers with Christ's love. i've found it hard that when you have a really close group of people (sortof like what i had at auburn), you tend to get stuck, but then you end up knowing everything about everyone, and if you don't in that group of people then you are "left out" or you find your nutrition or growth stemming from if you know things...because if you don't then you should. i don't know, it's weird, but i have found myself thinking that alot lately. is it ok to widen horizons and go meet new people with surfacey motivations? or should we be in sincere prayer before we do, asking the Lord to fill our hearts with love so that we might branch out and extend our fellowship with others. i don't know if that made any sense, but those are things that have been running through my head lately too. i guess another reason i've thought alot about that is because i want to move to nashville when i graduate!
another thing i have been praying is that the Lord would ignite in me a deeper desire for His Word. i tend to just open my Bible and read some verses here or there, but this year i want to "study" the Word. i want to know why i believe it and why i believe it is truth to me personally.
well, this is all i can think of right now to share...i have missed blogging and i love this because it's almost like a diary that i can share with good friends :) and i know if we were all at taylor's getting chais or at cambridge coffee we would be talking about these things. what a blessing the fellowship of believers is and having a rich, deep community! love to you all!

Good Morning

2010-01-03T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever.

This morning I went to my car to go to church, and it wouldn't start. So, instead, I had some devotional time here at home. I began with a prayer from Valley of Vision. They are so beautiful and say words that I'm trying to say in such a clearer way.

THE DEEPS

Give me a deeper repentance,
a horror of sin, a dread of its approach;

Help me chastely to flee it,
and jealously to resolve that my heart shall be thine alone.

Give me a deeper trust, that I may lose myself to find myself in thee,
the ground of my rest, the spring of my being.

Give me a deeper knowledge of thyself as Saviour, Master, Lord, and King.
Give me a deeper power in private prayer, more sweetness in thy Word,
more steadfastness grip on its truth.

Give me deeper holiness in speech, thought, action,
and let me not seek moral virtue apart from thee.

Plough deep in me, great Lord, heavenly Husbandman,
that my being may be a tilled field, the roots of grace spreading far and wide,
until thou alone art seen in me, thy beauty golden like summer harvest,
thy fruitfulness as autumn plenty.

I have no Master but thee, no law but thy will, no delight but thyself,
no wealth but that thou givest, no good but that thou blessest, no peace but that thou bestowest.

I am nothing but that thou makest me,
I have nothing but that I receive from thee,
I can be nothing but that grace adorns me.

Quarry me deep, dear Lord, and then fill me to overflowing with living water.

I also opened up Ruth and read through it. Here I am, right where you were a couple of months ago Claire, not sure what I'm doing. I'm trying to figure out how to become a working artist, how to support myself, what job to get so that I can support myself but also continue to make art the priority. Right now that means being in Scottsboro. I don't know where I'm going. I feel like things are slightly clearer than maybe a week ago, but I still have so so many questions. Ruth is such a comfort to me. Its like having an aerial view, seeing from the way God sees things; a reminder that God's view is so much larger than ours. First of all, Naomi has lost all hope; she says that she has come back empty. By the end of the book, Naomi is seen as extremely blessed. Then there is Ruth who begins to follow the Lord and gives up everything besides Him by choosing to obey and follow where He leads her. In the end she becomes a mother and wife. God completely takes care of and provide for both of these women. Finally, God is using them to bring about our Savior. Its such a bigger story. Its a wonderful reminder that God has a perfect plan for my life even if it seems to be going no where right now.

Last thing, I have recently discovered Dolly Parton's Travelin' Thru. While the theology isn't always exactly right, I like the theme and humility in it.

Questions I have many, answers but a few,
But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth
We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree
and when I'm born again you're going to see a change in me.

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain
Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain
Oh sweet Jesus if you're listening, keep me ever close to You
As I'm stumblin, tumblin, wonderin, as I'm travelin thru

I'm just travelin, travelin, travelin, I'm just travelin
Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind
oh give me some direction Lord, let me lean on You
As I'm travelin, travelin, travelin thru.

Hope you all enjoy your Sunday!

some good verses :)

2009-12-12T05:52:00.001-08:00

ps 31:3-5
for you are my rock and my fortress; for your name's sake you will lead me and guid me. you will pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me. for you are my strength. into your hand i commit my spirit; you have ransomed me, O Lord, God of truth.

and v 9-10, 14-15
be gracious to me, O Lord, for i am in distress; my eye is wasted away from grief, my soul and my body also. for my life is spent with sorrow and my years with sighing. my strength has failed because of my iniquity, and my body has wasted away. but as for me i trust in YOU, O Lord, i say, 'you are my God'. my times are in your hand; deliver me frmo the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me...
and v 24- be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord.

quotes!

2009-12-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

kate, i absolutely love that book by elisabeth elliott. although the title is depressing, that book holds so much truth and meaning in ALL seasons of life, not just in loneliness. i read that book and loved every single word.
so todays post is not really a journal type thing. nothing new is going on in life except for finals this wk and i am done on thurs! i am so looking forward to a break. it's funny to look back on how the Lord has used each circumstance no matter how painful and drawn out and He has come near in each and has shown me His faithfulness. when i thought i couldn't make it through something, He used it for His good and knew better than i did what was best. here are some quotes i came across this morning when i was looking back through my journal entries from the last couple of years (which are very numerous). i love looking back and seeing how the Lord used so much in my life, so much that was painful and brought something good and better out of it. as i was reading those old entries, i just remember the feeling of pain or loneliness or guilt i had and how i could literally feel my heart sink into my chest. that feeling came back and then i remembered where i am today and how i got through those times, only by His peace and love. so here they are! much love.
cs lewis- what God uses to awaken desire is not necessarily what we long for. the things in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. these things are good images of what we desire, but if they are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers, for they are not the thing itself.

john piper- God alone knows what is good for human beings and God alone knows what is not good for them. to enjoy the good we must trust God and obey Him. if we disobey, we will have to decide for ourselves what is good and what is not good. while to modern men and women such a prospect may seem desirable, to the author of Genesis, it is the worst fate that could have befallen humanity.

The acorn does what it was made to do, without pestering its Maker with questions about when and how and why. we who have been given an intelligence and a will and a whole range of wants that can be set against the divine pattern for good are asked to believe HIM.

we are always held in the love of God. we are never wholly at the mercy of other people- they are only 2nd causes, and no matter how many 2nd or 3rd or 50th causes seem to be in control of what happens to us, it is GOD who is in charge; He who holds the keys, He who casts the lot finally into the lap. trusting Him, then, requires that i leave some things to be decided by others. i must learn to relinquish the control i mighty wield over somebody else if the decision properly belongs to him. i must resist my urge to manipulate him, needle and prod and pester until he capitulates. i must trust God in him, trust God to do for BOTH of us better than i know. elisabeth elliott

clogged with wishes. i was wishing that my wishes were what God wished, and if my wishes were not what God wished, i wished that i could wish that my wishes would go away, but the wishes were still there.

when the will of God crosses the will of man, somebody has to die.

WORRY IS LIKE A ROCKING CHAIR. IT GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO DO, BUT IT WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE....

quote for the day...

2009-11-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

here's some elisabeth elliot for you...

"but safety, as the cross shows, does not exclude suffering. all that was of course beyond me when i was a child, but as i began to learn about suffering i learned that trust in those strong arms means that even our suffering is under control. we are not doomed to meaninglessness. a loving purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness." - elisabeth elliot. the path of loneliness

God's strength made perfect in our weakness :)

2009-11-14T14:38:00.000-08:00

So. this verse came up multiple times last week in my conversations with my roommate and with others. it also came up in my quiet times...last week was really difficult at times, but this verse is so powerful and hits me at what seems the worst of times...it is so encouraging. hope you find encouragement in this devotion by spurg!!!
much love---
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
"For my strength is made perfect in weakness." {#2Co 12:9}
A primary qualification for serving God with any amount of success, and for doing God’s work well and triumphantly, is a sense of our own weakness. When God’s warrior marches forth to battle, strong in his own might, when he boasts, "I know that I shall conquer, my own right arm and my conquering sword shall get unto me the victory", defeat is not far distant. God will not go forth with that man who marches in his own strength. He who reckoneth on victory thus has reckoned wrongly, for "it is not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord of hosts." They who go forth to fight, boasting of their prowess, shall return with their bright banners trailed in the dust, and their armour stained with disgrace. Those who serve God must serve him in his own way, and in his strength, or he will never accept their service. That which man doth, unaided by divine strength, God can never own. The mere fruits of the earth he casteth away; he will only reap that corn, the seed of which was sown from heaven, watered by grace, and ripened by the sun of divine love. God will empty out all that thou hast before he will put his own into thee; he will first clean out thy granaries before he will fill them with the finest of the wheat. The river of God is full of water; but not one drop of it flows from earthly springs. God will have no strength used in his battles but the strength which he himself imparts. Are you mourning over your own weakness? Take courage, for there must be a consciousness of weakness before the Lord will give thee victory. Your emptiness is but the preparation for your being filled, and your casting down is but the making ready for your lifting up.
"When I am weak then am I strong,
Grace is my shield and Christ my song."

Weekend Renunion

2009-10-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend Casey Payne and Tyler Wallace are getting married. For that reason, this weekend will be a bit of a training staff reunion. I began thinking about it, obviously Tyler and Casey are marrying each other, Allison won't be able to make it because she will be with her husband in their new home town in Kentucky, Michael got engaged this week, Breck will be staying at my house with her boyfriend(in seperate rooms :), and Morgan will be driving in from a visit to her boyfriend in Atlanta. I could dwell on this and get depressed, I could dwell on the moment last night where Breck asked, so what about you? are you talking with anyone? (becoming such a familiar question) Or I could dwell on truth. Truth that I heard recently in a message on The Lord's Prayer. It was a message that we've all heard, but that we need to hear, over and over and over. That this life isn't about our needs, give us this day our daily bread, its about Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be His name, His kingdom come, His will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven... for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. The teacher reminded us that the Lord's desire is for earth to be as it is in Heaven. That Heaven is completely and totally surrendered to His glory, and that is what He is working and constantly moving to make happen here. So to be focused on anything else, is to be focused on too little, is to except too little from this life God has given us. We are to expect God's glory, and while marriage certainly doesn't have to be seperate from that, to put all my desire in marriage rather than God's glory is to seperate it.

I am also reminded of King David, who was run out of His home, away from the people he loved because his father-in-law, the king, was trying to kill him. He literally ran for his life for 10 years, but relied solely on the presence of the Lord to carry Him through. God provided enough grace to carry him through that for ten years. Tonight I can dwell on the fact that I know that same God, and if He can provide enough grace to carry David through those ten years, He can certainly provide enough grace to strengthen me through however many years He has planned for me not being married. Tonight, that is quite a comfort.

2009-10-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

hey guys... do you like the new layout? sorry... i'm just much too much in a blog craze these days! i spent to much time on this... haha. but, i hope that you like it. i wish that i had something good to say now... some kind of truth... but i have not even had quiet time yet. you know, the blog layout is much more important! haha. hope ya'll have a good day!

oh, and claire, i loved that devotional of elisabeth elliots!! mm mmm, i needed it that day!

can i make it pretty?

2009-10-04T22:56:00.000-07:00

hey guys... no insight for the time being. however, my last post on my own blog is very appropriate for this blog, as well! so if you want to check it out. but, i just wanted to ask if it would be ok if i made a pretty design for this blog... like a header? i was introduced to a fun blog header creator thing and i'm excited! so... that's all!

some elisabeth...i can't get enough

2009-10-03T16:07:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Kate! Really though, since you've been writing about her, I've been reading her daily devotional every day. And it's always so good, and somehow always relevant. So, if anyone's already read this, then I'll just be reiterating it by posting it here...but it's so good I want to share.

Title: Don't Forfeit Your Peace

Author: Elisabeth Elliot

It would not be possible to exaggerate the importance hymns and spiritual songs have played in my spiritual growth. One of the latter, familiar to most of you, has this line: "O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer" (Joseph Scriven). Prayerlessness is one of many ways by which we can easily forfeit the peace God wants us to have. I've been thinking of some other ways. Here's a sampling:

Resent God's ways.
Worry as much as possible.
Pray only about things you can't manage by yourself.
Refuse to accept what God gives.
Look for peace elsewhere than in Him.
Try to rule your own life.
Doubt God's word.
Carry all your cares.

If you'd rather not forfeit your peace, here are eight ways to find it (antidotes to the above eight):

"Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them" (Psalm 119:165 KJV). "Circumstances are the expression of God's will," wrote Bishop Handley Moule.
"Don't worry about anything whatever" (Philippians 4:6, PHILLIPS).
"In everything make your requests known to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Then the peace of God... will guard your hearts" (Philippians 4:6,7, NEB).
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me... and you will find rest" (Matthew 11:29, NIV).
"Peace is my parting gift to you, my own peace, such as the world cannot give" (John 14 27, NEB).
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts" (Colossians 3:15, NIV).
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing" (Romans 15:13, KJV).
"Cast all your cares on him for you are his charge" (1 Peter 5:7, NEB).

"Grant, O Lord my God, that I may never fall away in success or in failure; that I may not be prideful in prosperity nor dejected in adversity. Let me rejoice only in what unites us and sorrow only in what separates us. May I strive to please no one or fear to displease anyone except Yourself. May I seek always the things that are eternal and never those that are only temporal. May I shun any joy that is without You and never seek any that is beside You. O Lord, may I delight in any work I do for You and tire of any rest that is apart from You. My God, let me direct my heart towards You, and in my failings, always repent with a purpose of amendment."

--St. Thomas Aquinas

I bolded some of the things I most identify with now. I love how she just spells it out for us. Worry much? Here's what the Word says about that...cast all your cares. Turning to idols? They can't give you peace. Only He can. Encouraging stuff.

hello!

2009-10-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

SARAH!!! i know exactly what you mean about the weather and the colors being so vivid and bright. i was describing the weather the other day to someone, i forgot who, but i remember saying that everything looked so clear and crisp. you know during the winter when days look like that? wow, i love fall and the changing of colors and weather! AH! our Father is so creative!
anyway, sorry i haven't written this week. school has been dragging me down this week, and unfortunately this week was pretty discouraging! but through the discouragement, i found joy in being reminded once again of the Lord's pure faithfulness in the midst of my doubt. ahhhh. i am amazed and humbled at His loving kindness and grace to me even though i doubt His power. this week was just tough with school and assignments we had, not to mention i did not do well grade-wise on wednesday. in my head i kept doubting myself wondering why i got myself into this major! and of course, the Lord used little, miniscule reminders to show me that He is there always and will never leave my side. i am doing a bible study with some dental hygiene girls (from my class and the class below us). this week was our first official meeting and it was AWESOME. i left there so encouraged. i was assigned to lead the devotion (this was tuesday...). and i was kindof nervous because i hadn't prepared well at all! in fact, i slightly skimmed over the morning and evening devotion for that day and thought "hey that sounds good! i will read that tonight and briefly talk about it! and hope that people contribute and talk about what i read"! well...i described the devotion a little and then read it out loud word for word at the bible study. i was almost brought to tears while i was reading it. it was EXACTLY what i needed to hear. it talked about even in the despair and discouragement and in our depravity, the Lord knows where we are and brings us through. all we need to do is cry out and lean on our Rock and Refuge. as i wrapped things up with reading and describing what it was talking about, EVERYONE chimed in and became transparent and shared things they have been through that the Lord has seen them through. it was awesome! SUCH a great picture of community and the church and just fellowship with other believers. it was definitely an uplifting time, and something i have been looking forward to for a while now (the community, fellowship, etc.). what made it even better is that these are girls in my class who i know share in our faith, but in class situations we never have the opportunity to talk about deeper things and about our relationship with Christ. so that was cool. ANYWAY, sorry to go on and on about that. but tuesday night's bible study just made my week and made me excited and refreshed about the body of Christ!! i hope all is well with you all :) i miss each of you and look forward to hearing the next post! much love.

Big Blue Sky

2009-09-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

hey guys,

Sorry its been a while. What fonts are taken? I don't know if I can tell that big of a difference between all of them. Anyways, I don't have a lot to say, or a lot of time to say anything. However, its an amazing day. Beautiful, feels incredible. One of those days. I swear, on days like this when everything feels so wonderful, the colors are also more vivid and bright. Is that possible? I guess I'm a little bit on a high because the mid-semester review is done, and it went pretty well. After two weeks of stress, I now have two months until everything has to be done. On top of that, its an absolutely beautiful day, and all day its just made me want to listen to Big Blue Sky by Bebo Norman. This song just makes me so happy. Do you have those songs? So, I just got on to say, listen to Big Blue Sky by Bebo Norman and enjoy who our Father is.

I don't have a lot to give

This broken world can make it hard to live

I got nothing left to say

My empty words have simply gone away

But this big blue sky

Shows me all that I have got

And You're by my side

To Be everything I'm not

The angels sigh

I breathe deep the breath of God

I cannot find another sky

My thoughts are heavy and they cloud my eyes

But when I'm searching for the sun

You rise up quickly with your kingdom come

I'm coming alive

Nothing is good apart from You

I'm coming alive...with You

I may not have a lot to give

This broken world can make it hard to live

I may have nothing left to say

But I know that You will never go away.

Listen to it, its better that way.

elisabeth elliot, cont.

2009-09-28T16:09:00.000-07:00

guys, i miss hearing from you! no pressure :) today's elisabeth elliot devotion shook me up. this is just a small portion of it...

"The worst pains we experience are not those of the suffering itself but of our stubborn resistance to it, our resolute insistence on our independence. To be "crucified with Christ" means what Oswald Chambers calls "breaking the husk" of that independence. "Has that break come?" he asks. "All the rest is pious fraud." And you and I know, in our heart of hearts, that that sword-thrust (so typical of Chambers!) is the straight truth.

If we reject this cross, we will not find it in this world again. Here is the opportunity offered. Be patient. Wait on the Lord for whatever He appoints, wait quietly, wait trustingly. He holds every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year in His hands. Thank Him in advance for what the future holds, for He is already there. "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup" (Psalm 16:5, NIV). Shall we not gladly say, "I'll take it, Lord! YES! I'll trust you for everything. Bless the Lord, O my soul!"

good ole elisabeth elliot.

2009-09-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

thanks danielle for your wonderfully welcoming texts in the morning! they always make me want to read His Word which is a very good thing! therefore, i read zephaniah this morning. i needed it so much... after a somewhat emotional and growing weekend... a checkup weekend where you have to die a little. ok, so die completely, but i'm often resistant to that. i'm sure you read this danielle, but i really would just like to type it out, if that's ok... then tell ya'll some awesomeness from EE.

"For at that time I will change the speech
of the peoples
to a pure speech,
that all of them may call upon the name
of the LORD
and serve Him with one accord...
On that day you shall not be put to
shame
because of the deeds by which you
have rebelled against me;
for then I will remove from your midst
your proudly exultant ones,
and you shall no longer be haughty
in my holy mountain.
But I will leave in your midst
a people humble and lowly.
They shall seek refuge in the name of
the LORD,
those who are left in Israel...
Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion,
shout, O Israel!
Rejoice and exult with all your heart,
O daughter of Jerusalem!
The LORD has taken away the judgments
against you;
he has cleared away your enemies.
The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save...
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
he will quiet you by his love,
he will exult over you with loud singing...
Behold at that time I will deal
with all your oppressors
And I will save the lame
and gather the outcast,
and I will change their shame into
praise
and renown in all the earth.
At that time I will bring you in,
at that time when I gather you together,
for I will make you renowned and
praised
among all the peoples of the earth
when I restor your forutnes
before your eyes,' says the Lord."
- Zephaniah 3:9-20 (well, skipped around in there)

praise God! so, i know that was a lot of words... but it's so rich.

and here is some awesome truth from EE...

"Heaven is not here, it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for.

"Running aground," then, is not the end of the world. But it helps to make the world a bit less appealing. It may even be God's answer to "Lead us not into temptation"--the temptation complacently to settle for visible things."

just a little tip. she has a daily devotional that i check every morning and it's always so good... here.

love ya'll.

p.s. i changed my font, so i can distinguish mine from ya'lls. do you think that's a good idea? maybe we should each choose a font to use and it just makes it more individualistic and easier to read.

a good quote

2009-09-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

"a calmer faith- that's the quiet place within us where we don't get whiplash every time life tosses us a curve. when we don't revolt when His plan and ours conflict. where we relax in the midst of an answerless season. when we accept and expect deserts in our spiritual journey as surely as we do joy."

Good Evening

2009-09-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Several quick comments before I really get started. First of all, look at how good we're doing! Every time I get on there's a new post. So fun. Second, yay for a comment from Laura Clayton! I wish you would post with us. Third, this quote was on offirstimportance.org this morning and I thought I'd share:

"By becoming a Christian, I belong to God and I belong to my brothers and sisters. It is not that I belong to God and then make a decision to join a local church. My being in Christ means being in Christ with those others who are in Christ. This is my identity. This is our identity....If the church is the body of Christ, then we should not live as disembodied Christians."

-Tim Chester and Steve Timmis, Total Church

So, I just want to say that I'm really thankful for this blog and the chance to hear what God is teaching all of you.

So, senior project is definitely a stressful semester. I'm feeling more pressure than ever before to create good work, and its been a while since I've really felt like I excelled in these classes. For whatever reason, I don't really work very well in this classroom setting. Its like I put so much pressure on myself to please the professors and to compare with my classmates, that I paint much worse than I would otherwise. I'm very much ready to be out of the classroom setting so that I can really enjoy painting again. I've talked about all of this before. In my mind, I kind of compare this semester to the semester that I was New Member Coordinator. I felt so much pressure that semester and stayed completely stressed out. I didn't handle it very well. I pray that this semester will lead me to rely on God. He's been very faithful to continue to remind me that He is greater than this project, and that He is meeting me here. Of course I have freak out moments. In fact, I freaked out pretty badly today when I still hadn't made it to the studio and my car died. However, I just feel like God continues to remind me through this entire process that He is bigger than this. That everything I go through, including senior project, is in His purpose. I turned today to the faithful Jeremiah 29:11. However, I read the verses around it as well.

"For thus says the Lord, 'when seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord,'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declare the Lord,'and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,' declares the Lord,' and I will bring you back to the place form where I sent you into exile.'" Jeremiah 29:10-14.

God hasn't sent me into exile, and He hasn't been gone for 70 years and is now returning to me. However, I am reminded from these verses that ultimately God wants us to call out to Him, and I am certainly at a place where I have to constantly call out to Him to carry me through this whole process. Also, I am reminded that He has a plan for this as He does everything in my life. He has a purpose, that although I may not always be able to see it, I can trust it. Its so incredible for me to see the many times that God puts Israel in exile, and then fulfills His promise by redeeming them, puts them in exile, fulfills His promise, etc. etc. until Jesus Christ arrived. To know that the same God who put all of those plans together is also arranging and guiding my life, is very humbling and exciting!

Well, I need to get to bed. Hope everyone has a wonderful week! Good night.

short post

2009-09-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

kate! i loved your post.......i was reminded tonight while driving that we can't "run away" from God. no matter how far we try to or how hard we try to hide, He knows us and loves us still...i was comforted by that and was in awe in how to even respond to that kind of love and Creator. love all of ya'll!

simple but good.

2009-09-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

i decided i would check in... it's been a little while for me. i was like three posts behind! oops. actually, i have to make this quick. but i saw where sarah was interested in going through ruth together. i went to the ruth bible study this morning and i was so encouraged. i have been "battling" a crush... which is what it really feels like to me. a battle. because i want it but i can't have it kind of thing. and in the midst of that, i think if i truly love the Lord, then i would not be struggling with this. today we were talking about naomi's life. we looked at this verse... "I went away full, and the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the LORD has testified against me and the Almighty has brough calmity upon me?", Ruth 1:21. we talked about naomi's anger, should she be angry? should she question God? should we look upon her with contempt? sometimes i get angry, because i have been blessed to meet and be around solid Christian, cute guys. and i never get to enter into relationships... instead i'm left with this longing. and it gets frustrating. especially because i think that if i was more holy, if i loved Him more, than i would not long for these things as much. but this is what richard said... when we try to deny our feelings. when we try to be holy in spite of any anger inside of us... we are trying to offer to God a holiness of our own which does not exist. it's me trying to earn my salvation when He has said that i have fallen short. and in that shortage, in that temptation, in that anger, i take it to God. to a God that sympathizes with our weakness because He has been tempted in every way. ahhh! good stuff.

ok, i have to go... but i love ya'll. and have a beautiful weekend.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:8-9

happy thurs!

2009-09-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

CLAIRE! i'm glad to see you back on the blog. haha it sounded like you gave yourself a cartoon name or something---the silent blogger??? you are funny!
i love this blog too---mainly because i get to keep up with ya'll and we can all be involved (even though we are miles apart) in each others' lives. it is gloomy and depressing here in mtown but weather like that always still reminds me of God's beauty, power, majesty, and even tenderness because rainy weather is almost peaceful to me. i have been reading a book called "for women only" and it seems like the main running theme in the book is trust. and how the guy needs for us as women to let them know that we trust in them and believe they can do things. but even beyond that issue, i've been thinking alot about trusting Jesus and His Word. last night, katie and i discussed how we had both been in kindof a season off and on of doubt and doubting our faith. and she was talking about a sermon she was listening to recently about how those doubts are in turn for good, because they draw us nearer to God. they kindof "wake us up" in a sense if maybe we have been lacking in the Word or spending time with Him. i know those doubts always bring me into a reality that He is near and nearer than we can even imagine...yet we still try to run and hide. so, all of that to say even in those seasons of doubt that we think are "wrong" and make us not Christians, the Lord can use those for our growth.
ya'll ALL need to read "for women only". it is not just for marriage/dating relationships, i think can definitely pertain to how we relate to men in general---even in friendships or with our dads. it is so so good. there is also a book for men called "for men only" haha obviously....and i actually want to read it just to see the information that is in it and how they describe the wants and needs of women.
sarah---you definitely should get the song "without words" by the shelley moore band. it is really good and very calm and relaxing. i love it.
i feel like all i have been doing lately is school...and interacting with people...and that makes me SO DRAINED. at the end of the day, all i want is down time. i want to start reading a book of the Bible to kindof have a little more push and motivation to stay on track in the Word. i try to read a verse or two a day before i go into school, and actually SO many times it is very refreshing and something i absolutely needed to hear that day. it has been sortof strange lately how my attitude is slowly changing. i can feel the presence and power of the Holy Spirit moving me into situations and opportunities of emptying me of self and into Himself. it is really weird. my relationship with others and with my family has changed and for a long time i felt obligated and almost forced to do things for people and it was without joy and a servant's spirit. and now i feel like doing things because i see in perspective the love of Jesus and His sacrifice that brought me where i am. and i feel a sense of joy in doing those things that for the longest time would have made me so frustrated and upset to do---little things like emptying the dishwasher or taking out trash or cleaning up after myself or others. and in the dental hygiene clinic, every interaction with my patient and every conversation i try not to take for granted. it is such an opportunity for sharing the Gospel and also an opportunity for the Lord to work in me through the people i meet and get to talk to every day. i'm not sure if this change is something "new" or something the Lord has been churning and working in my heart for a long time...but i just feel different and see things in a different light. it is really neat.
WELL--- sorry for the rambling. looking forward to hearing updates and new things with ya'll. and kate--thank you for that verse the other day that you sent...i think hebrews something. it was so good. read nehemiah 9 (i think i sent that in a text) when you get a chance AND mark 11:24. ya'll are great, much love!

growing up, defeating worry!

2009-09-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

It is still hard for me to believe that I am in the process of applying/interviewing in hopes of finding my first job in the "real world". It's really tough, to be honest, and so far, I have been timid and just plain pessimistic about it. That's not entirely true, because I do have optimistic days and I know that God is sovereign and has had a plan since the beginning of time for me and all of His children. But, I am hit with lies almost every day about myself and my future, and I have become good at believing them. Lies like, "God doesn't have anything else for you...you'll never get a job or make a difference or bear fruit for Him." Yes, that extreme! And, "You made that mistake, choosing a major you didn't like, and that messed the plan up that God had for You." How silly. They are not true. I believe they're simply lies directly from our Enemy.

I got a call yesterday morning from a man from a company that I sent my resume to. He invited me to interview with them this Friday. Since yesterday morning, I have been thinking about it almost constantly, worrying and worrying over what I will say and what they will think of me. I have a real problem with worry. Since I was a wee teen, I have had this thing where if something is coming up, some kind of public speaking or interview or even social events that I am uncomfortable with, I will obsessively anticipate it. Unhealthy obsession and worry. It is a real sin in my life. And I'm so tired of it. Upon coming across this verse yesterday, I gave my anxieties to the Lord, just wishing for His peace to come over me: "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" - Matthew 6:27. Could Jesus be any more reasonable and clear? It makes so much sense. Worrying does absolutely nothing. It can only tear you down, and it dishonors Him. So this evening, as I was running with my Dad, that peace finally started to kick in. I began to believe, actually believe what I've been reading in the Word and taking my family's advice about this interview coming up, this small moment in time, advice like "Just be yourself, and just be honest". And that is all I want to be. It's totally the Spirit ministering to me, and its times like these that I appreciate challenge and the hard things, because God shows up in mighty ways. I am hoping and praying that, as I face more and more of these uncomfortable events in my life, that I am relying each time more and more on God's grace to get me through it, and totally refusing to believe the lies, and reject the worry.

Hope yall are having good weeks : )

2009-09-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

So....hey! I have been the silent member of this ship for way too long. Though I've never actually posted on here, I have kept up with mostly all of your posts over the past year and have been really encouraged by them. So I just wanted to say thanks, Sarah, Kate, and Danielle...and attempt to become an active post-er.

Why the sudden motivation? I've definitely gotten more "in" to blogging these days and have found that I do enjoy it. And I agree with you, Sarah - this blog actually has purpose! It's a conversation, an encouragement, and a sharing of life among friends. Secondly, it's a great way to keep up with yall. Thirdly, I'm in desperate need of community (even if it's blog community) : ) Now that I'm home, there's kind of a lack of Christian friends in my life. I have my family, but there are virtually no young people here, or maybe I just haven't found them. Even at my church, our age is just kind of skipped. It kind of goes from high school to young marrieds, with no "young singles", or whatever I am, in between. All that to say, I LOVE the idea of going through a book of the Bible with yall. I am reading Romans right now, and about to start Ezekiel, but I am fine doing whatever. I like the idea of doing Ruth again for sure.

Since this blog started as kind of a singles' support group (that sounds lame, I don't know what to call it!), I guess I could start by telling you where I am with guy thing. For the past year or so, I've been saying that I'm okay with being single. Even forever, if that's what God wants. And I really feel that way. It hasn't been a huge struggle...yet. Here's the funny part: I'm not okay with being okay with being single. That probably doesn't make sense! Let me try to explain. I had a conversation with a friend, also single, this summer in Auburn, and I'm not sure how we got to this, but I mentioned I was okay with being single. She said she was too, and had been for a while, but the fact that she was okay with it has always really scared her. She explained that she of course wants to date and wants a husband one day, but that she definitely has a peace about being single. And because God knows this... she kind of wants to take it back. As in, "No, Lord, just because I'm okay with not ever getting married, please don't take the prospect of actually getting married away! I still want to! Don't misunderstand..." I totally agreed with her, because that is exactly the way I feel. I'm stuck between "I don't have to get married if it's not in Your plan" and a strong desire to have a husband and be a wife, sharing the most intimate relationship two people can share, and have children, be a mother. I feel like this desire has grown, even in the past few months, and is only going to grow as I get older. But for now, I am content to be single. Fortunately, as Sarah said, He does understand my desires infinitely more than I do, right now and always.

The chorus of one of Brooke Fraser's songs, "Love is Waiting", always gives me hope in the area of singleness. They are simple lyrics, but it's just a reminder to me that even if I'm longing for a boyfriend or sometimes just think it would be easier if I were married already, the one God has for me may not be ready, and I may not be ready either.

'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

By the way, I think the song is actually about her dating someone already but not being sure if he's "the one" (but I tend to bend lyrics to fit my situation....). Anyway, it's a beautiful song!

Danielle, I'm glad things are going well with you and Michael, and I'll be praying about Bloom (which sounds really cool). And Kate and Sarah, I love hearing about your lives at Auburn...miss that place so much and the people in it.

More to come and goodnight!

2009-09-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

Let me say one last time, I'm so glad that we're really doing this again. Danielle I've been looking up songs by the Shelly Moore Band. You're right, she has a beautiful voice! I downloaded Jesus, I am Resting and Serenade. Any other recommendations?

We should definitely go through a book, but maybe one that some of us are already going through? I've been thinking of you Danielle because I've joined, along with Kate, an RUF fellowship group (even though I don't go to RUF) that Richard and his wife are leading on Ruth. When I heard that it was being lead by the two of them and that it was on Ruth, I just couldn't resist. I loved it when we went through Ruth together. I'm also doing a Bible study on David, and I know Kate is doing another one on 1 John I think. I was also trying to read through 1 Peter. I just thought maybe we could pick one that we can all really focus on right now. Would you be interested in doing Ruth again? I think we could continue to learn a lot from it.

Everything that you said Danielle about fellowship is so true. I feel like I'm learning that more and more as I get older just how necessary Christian fellowship is. Christian fellowship has been slightly lacking in my life in the past year, and I think I need to begin actively pursuing that. Friday morning, I went to prayer. Do you remember that I was involved in Crusade's Friday morning prayer Danielle? Well, there is a core group of us who have been doing it for so long now, and it feels less and less like a "crusade" group because no one new ever comes. We just meet together to pray. This Friday morning was especially encouraging. We all randomly shared what God has been teaching us, about a devotion that we had read, or shared our favorite verses with each other. I was open with them about my lack of trust right now, but I also shared the morning and evening devotion that I had read. The verse for the night that Rachel and I had our big discussion was "Trust in Him at all times." Psalm 62:8. It hit me right where was I at, exactly. It was one of those moments where God couldn't make it any more clear that He was speaking to me. He didn't make me get there for myself; He completely laid it out for me, and He was saying that He's going to take care of everything. Which is so true.

Philip encouraged me by reminding me of Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I hear that verse and hear that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, our desires will be His desires. Which is true. Philip went on to say that he had realized in that verse that God created us, and He knows and understands our desires so much better than we do. Right now, it feels like the fulfillment of my desires would be to either get married or go to Charleston, and maybe that would be very satisfying, but definitely, God knows much better than I what will satisfy me: on a spiritual level and on a daily living level. What's the verse where God says that if your earthly parent provides bread, then God will give so much more. Do you know what I'm talking about? God certainly isn't holding back on us, and He understands what each of us needs this week, and this year.

So, I'm sorry that all felt a little jumbled. I need to get out of here and head back to Auburn.

By the way Danielle, I think we should definitely all meet in Nashville. I've realized if Nashville is going to be backup for the spring, I should probably go. We'll keep in touch!

loving the blog world...

2009-09-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

i love blogging! i think it is because i saw julie and julia the other day with my mom...and i was so inspired by her blog and it reminded me of you've got mail and the email system! so fun! by the way, if ya'll haven't seen julie and julia, you definitely must!
sarah, i will be praying for you. i feel so bad for your situation...but i am SO thankful that you said all of that and that you were honest and transparent in the fact that you are not "great". as ironic as it is, i am most encouraged when people are honest and talk about stinky things going on in their lives and how they are depending upon the Lord. keep me posted on how things are going and especially on your plans for after december. and you and kate both should definitely come to memphis this fall! that would be AMAZING! or we could all meet in nashville one weekend?? that would be so fun too! i am planning on coming to auburn some time... i get a few fridays off from school so i will probably come those weekends...maybe the end of this month and again a couple of times in oct. i will for sure give ya'll a heads up!
kate, i am SO SO excited that you are committed to and loving RUF. WOW!! that is AWESOME. i am so sad i missed out on that my senior year of college :( God has worked in so many amazing ways in that group, it is almost mind-boggling. i can't even put into words how blessed i was by that community. after being back in memphis for a while, there have been times where i have longed for that group of friends and relationships...but those types of longings have led me to the sunday school i am in now and the friends and relationships i have built here since being back. how the Lord works is AWESOME, even though getting to the place He has called us may be absolutely challenging and difficult. about the china thing---that is awesome too!! i have been praying about maybe making a trip to s. korea sometime after i graduate---or even before if time and school permit. i have been wanting to visit one of my old high school teachers, who now lives over there with his family and is a principal at a NICS school there. i want to know more about the culture and the people and about orphanages and how they work.
haha it is totally ok to just have updates! i want to know about ya'lls lives and just hearing about our different situations and roads we are on is encouraging in itself.

OHH ya'll can also be praying for a ministry called "Bloom" i am thinking about getting involved with either this fall or in the spring? it is a women's ministry for girls our age who team up with an older lady at the church and are mentored by them. i am praying the Lord will open up that opportunity for me and allow time in a day to do that. that would be AWESOME.
ALSO---i know we are all super busy, but is there a book of the Bible (short) or a short book we could all read on our own and then post as we read through it?? we wouldn't really have to be on any type of schedule...that is what is so great about blogging! let me know!
ps- yall need to download some shelly moore band songs on itunes....her voice is incredible, it makes me tear up every time i listen to it!!!

update v. kate.

2009-09-03T09:44:00.000-07:00

yay. thanks danielle for pursuing this! God has gifted you so much in being such an encouragement to the people in your life. i'm very thankful for that! i'm sorry that i have done a poor job of keeping up! will you be coming to auburn anytime this fall? i want to come up to TN at some point... nashville, but maybe memphis could be a little detour.

thanks for sharing that man's story. i'm in the same boat as ya'll... regarding having to realize it's not about my plans, but His. i have to say... God has blessed me a lot this semester already! i am thankful for that. it's going to be busy and lots of decision making but to a certain degree i feel like this semester and hopefully year will be kind of like the calm after the storm. i feel like i've gone through this funnel of crazy sanctification and breaking and molding and dang, that hurts sometimes, you know? but, it's all for good.

ok, so for specifics. danielle, you'll appreciate that i am absolutely in love with RUF right now. i have to continually give it up, and pray that RUF gives it up... that it is all for God's glory. it's empowered by Him for Him. it's not about RUF. but He's blessed it and blessed me by it. i believe the community's strong. and maybe because i've never completely let myself go in it. i've never made it top priority. i've always contemplated, do i want to give time to ADPi, to crusade, to work, to this, to that. but i think this semester.... richard talks about this a lot with core group... you have to choose something that you can commit to, and i feel like i've simply chosen RUF. and i can rest in that. i've never been able to because everyone calls you in different directions. but i've always known RUF was my fave! it's just where i feel God would have me. i'm leading a sophomore girls' fellowship group with Meggie, the new intern. it's so fun! it's on 1 john and i am beyond thankful for that. it talks about how our fellowship with God is disrupted when we take so lightly our sin, when we are not repenting on a daily basis. and if we do not have a right relationship with God, we can not have a right relationship with others.

i am praying about what to do after college. i don't know if you ever even heard the China phase of my life... Danielle... but i'm in love with China and want to go there one day. well, i went for a week in the Spring. and i was certain i would go when i graduate, but the Lord has steered me from that. He gave me the conviction all last year, to the point that i even was able to go. i was sure of it this summer, but He kept shutting doors with certain organizations... i just never had a peace because of various situations and conversations. but, i'm still certain of the conviction. but, not now. in fact, i e-mailed the girl who i have been talking to at MTW, yesterday, to let her know i made my decision that i will not continue the application process. and i had a complete peace about it! but, haha... today i was working on a paper, and looking up stuff about london which led to the olympics which led to beijing... and this video with this song that they play everywhere in china! i watched this youtube video, and ya'll i just sat and bawled. i love China! and i thought, Lord, what happened? why not? but, i still have this peace that it will be in future, but not immediately. watch the video :)

thanks for the lyrics, sarah. i love how we always write lyrics... i love lyrics!

so, this is getting long and i simply wrote and update... no encouragement really... but i will try, try, try to be faithful and post something more later!

love ya'll.

2009-09-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Danielle, I so enjoyed your blog! The great thing about this blog, as opposed to my blog, is that there is a purpose. If that makes sense. I know exactly what I need to blog about. Danielle, I'm so happy for you, and I'm so glad that things came together with you and Michael. I would love to hear all about it! And Danielle, I know that I can speak for both Kate and I when I say that Rock of Ages is one of our favorite songs.

So Danielle, you picked a great night to get in touch with me. I don't know if you remember this, but I haven't graduated. I graduate in December. Rachel and I were planning on moving to Charleston in January. She mentioned at the very beginning of the semester that she wasn't as completely sure about missing out on her final semester at Auburn. Since then, we've both avoided talking about it. She didn't want to mention that she might not be able to go, and I didn't want to hear it. It all came to a head last night. We hosted her grandparents for dinner, and they asked about it and advised us for the entire dinner. It left me pretty emotional. I really enjoyed the dinner, and then when they left, for whatever reason I just felt sad. We were hit with the reality of the situation, and the reality is that it probably isn't going to work out. Her grandfather made a joke during dinner about how I could possibly meet Mr. Right in the next two weeks and would completely give up on Charleston. Somehow that hit a nerve. These days, I usually don't dwell very much on the guy thing, but when I do, then I just break down. Hearing about Charleston, and being reminded that there isn't a Mr. Right, I realized that Charleston was kind of my replacement. You know what I mean? If I wasn't getting married, well then at least I would have an adventure. I also realized, I'm looking for someone to fill the husband role. I want someone to go somewhere with. I don't want to just go. I can't lie, or fake and say that I'm in a great place right now. I'm not. I read your blog last night, and I broke down because I knew that it was so true that God is control, but I didn't want to hear it because that means that I could very easily wait another ten or twenty years before meeting Mr. Right if that's God's plan. I want a different plan. I'm not great right now. But, while I don't particularly enjoy feeling this way, the great thing is, that I feel God's presence and reality more than ever. I want to rebel against God's plan, and will, but I am more aware of it than ever. Does that make sense? I am reminded that as unreliable, and unfaithful as I am, in the midst of my doubt and anger(?), God is remaining faithful. He is standing so firm, and I don't doubt that. I count on it, and rest in it, when I am faithless. He makes up for my doubt. I can't trust in myself, because if I did, I would be freaking out. I have to trust that God is standing strong.

I listened to this song on repeat this morning in the studio, because I feel like it speaks what I am feeling. It doubts while understanding that He doesn't.

They say you live in hospitals and trenches
and towers in the sky
And I'm not dying or fighting any wars
Except on the inside

The only thing I need is a void that You can fill
And I jump ship and run even further in Your Will

And I am looking for the well that won't run dry
The rest that weary thoughts cannot deny
When You wrap Your arms around me
I can walk away or face the emptiest day

The words I find impossible to mention
Are written on a star
They say that I can find You in a flower
I need you in the car

The optimism of my youth is dead and gone
But I'll save these speculations for another time and song

And I am looking for the well that won't run dry
The rest that weary thoughts cannot deny
When You wrap Your arms around me
I can walk away or face the emptiest day

And life is only perceived through chemicals and emotion
But love, love is the island that overgrows the ocean

And I am looking for the well that won't run dry....

Caedmon's Call The emptiest Day

He is good, when I am not, and for now, that is all I need to know.

:) starting a new school year

2009-09-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

AHHHH here is how i post! so, it has been a while since i have written on this blog. i have been inspired lately, however, to write some thoughts down and this is the best outlet for that. i miss ya'll so much and i miss this blog!! we need to get back on regularly writing on this website and keeping up with each others' lives. life has been pretty hectic the past few weeks. my life has felt so unorganized and it has made me feel pressured and stressed. whenever my room or books or anything are out of order, i feel like everything around me is out of order. i don't like that feeling! school has already been challenging and difficult...i think especially since i did not crack a book open this summer. i want to hear how ya'lls schooling is going, and sarah---i want to hear about charleston! have ya'll moved there yet?
well the dating life---if you haven't noticed from my "relationship status" on facebook (i feel so funny updating ya'll this way), i am dating the same guy again. it has been a slow process of moving into our relationship, but it has been a GOOD slow process. normally, i am the most impatient person when dealing with relationships (as seen in older posts, i wanted everything in my timing) and the Lord knew His perfect timing and plan for both michael and me. it has been different than when we dated before---even though it is long distance and it's hard, i feel like we've grown as individuals and we are more mature than when we dated previously. it's so hard to put in words, i wish there was a way to! but you definitely know when people around you have grown, but especially you know for a fact when you have grown. the Lord used SO many things--good and bad--the past 2 years that i look back on now and know for sure they were His perfect Will...even though at the time i was going through them i felt weak and unsure if it really was God's perfect plan because it was not what i wanted. anyway, all that to say relationships are hard, but good, and it took alot of trust to get where we are now in dating...and it took trust in the Lord to get me through the past 2 years that were really hard.
i have been visiting 2nd pres., a larger presbyterian church here in memphis. i have been going to the sunday school class for "young adults" which has been SO SO good. my need for communitry grew and grew the past year or so as i realized how much it was not only beneficial for us as Christians but how it IS what the church is all about. the speaker this past wk was a guest who was a younger man who gave his testimony. needless to say, when guys have emotional, heart-wrenching stories, i get emotional....and i am not an emotional person. this guy's testimony was one of the most convicting ones i have heard in a while. he talked about our "plan" for our lives vs. what the Lord really wants for our lives. he talked about how he had kindof mapped out this perfect life he looked forward to---wife, home, good job....but how the Lord's plan was completely different and ultimately better. he grew up in a Christian home and school and had become a "Christian" at an early age, but he didn't really KNOW the Lord. he got into some deep sin during middle school/high school and he tlaked about his struggles with that sin and how he knew he was "guilty" and he would pray about the sin and ask God to intervene, but when he saw the Lord wasn't doing anything or wasn't really taking it away, he would just shut his Bible and think "God really isn't powerful, He's not taking this sin away from me". so he continued in that sin and struggling with that. when he got to college, he had found "the girl" and they got engaged. and during their engagement, they worked at a camp and he spent some time with the Lord praying about the engagement and had read several things talking about being open and honest with one another and with the Lord. during that time, he confessed to his fiance his struggle and that it was still with him, and they sortof worked it out and forced "making it work" and they got married. life went on and his "perfect" life was seemingly ok to the outside people looking in. he had a good job, a wife, money, a home, etc....but he felt empty and drained. he would come home and even though he knew he had to make it work with his wife, he had no energy and nothing left in him to force making that relationship work. the Lord was obviously working in his heart and guiding him, even through the hard things. one day his wife and him got in sortof an argument and she left saying "you just need to go talk to your dad". they had not talked about a divorce or anything, but that night really really late, he left to go talk with his dad. he said they drove around for almost 4 hours talking about this life he was living and how he felt empty and felt his wife and his relationship was not working the way he had planned. while driving around with his dad, they talked about the verse in james 5:16 that says "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." he said that night he knew that verse was real and KNEW that God really valued him and really valued his struggles and this broken relationship he had with his wife. he said he got home from that talk and was sitting on his couch and waiting for his wife to get back and prayed "Lord just let me get back to my bedroom before i break down". he said he hadn't made it 2 steps into his room before he fell on his knees and just wept. he wept over this life he had been forcing that was not according to God's will but what he wanted and forced for himself. but the Lord had used this for his GOOD. he had realized so many things about himself and about the Lord and really knowing Him, that if he had not gone through this hard situation, he wouldn't have maybe come to those realizations. his personality was one of people-pleasing and working things out, and when his wife came home that night he said he wanted so badly to just go talk to her and figure whatever out that was wrong and share with her what he had realized and figured out about himself and that maybe that would help. but she came in and walked into his room and said she wanted a divorce. he said they went to counseling after that and tried to renew things in their relationship, but it just didn't work out in that regard.
this is a long story and probably one that is pretty common among Christian circles. i'm not sure...but it was so convicting how much we manipulate things to go in our favor because we want things in our timing. but God knows our hearts at those times, He knows what is ultimately best for our lives. and sometimes that calls for hard times and for being extremely patient, but it is His perfect plan.
this is so comforting to me and this story has been in my head and on the tip of my tongue the past 2 days. i want to share it with everyone i come in contact with. it brings so much joy and relief to think our Father cares about us that much and values our feelings and our brokenness and uses those for our good and to glorify Himself, where the glory is due!
well that's all for now, off to studying!
love.

Dentist Appointment

2009-06-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

Danielle, I thought that you would enjoy hearing that I just came from the most encouraging dentist appointment. The dental hygienist is just the sweetest lady, and I was just amazed at how God spoke through her. After telling her that I was an art major and filling her in on my plans after graduation, she started talking to me about how exciting this time in my life is. She was truly so excited for me, and excited about seeing how God was going to work in this transition time in my life. She reminded me that "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." She reminded me that my desire to create art is from Him and that He is going to work through that. She reminded me that God has amazing plans for my life, and He is in complete control. Her excitement was amazing. I was amazed at God's grace in speaking to me through a dentist appointment! I've been on the computer way too long blogging and facebooking, so I'm going to keep this short, but I just wanted to share :)

acts 17

2009-06-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

sarah! i am so glad we are starting this back. thank you so much for posting the first post for the summer. i am going to try to keep up with this better, simply because i have more time this summer than i did during the semester with school.
well let me tell you lately what i've been thinking and how different verses and things have encouraged me. a friend wrote me a letter the other day and shared with me some verses in acts chp 17: 24-29ish. they are so good. i want to type out some of them because they are so great. "The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would SEEK GOD, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, 'For we also are His children'..."
these verses seem sortof trivial at first when you read them. Paul is preaching to people on Mars Hill and is sharing this with them about God and His sovereign rule. the thing that stands out the most to me about these verses, that my friend also pointed out, is that God had appointed His people those boundaries in which He knew they would seek Him and that He knew best for them. with that said, how convicting and humbling and peaceful that we can rest in that! my mind has been restless and my heart has been wandering during all of this wedding season stuff going on with my friends. i have definitely been discontent in ways i didn't know i could be, just because i see so many married couples who are so happy with one another and i long for that so badly. but the amazing thing about these verses that then draws me to my knees in AWE is that God loves us so much that He has placed us where we are in order for us to truly seek Him and He knows in those situations and in our lives that He has sovereign rule over, we would "grope for Him" even though He is NOT FAR OFF FROM EACH OF US! anyway, i thought this was a great depiction of His love and the delight He takes in our lives and His direction for us. i just thought i would share this. i love when i get quotes and verses like this from friends and am able to share them with others. i feel like that is definitely a part of community and the Church.
i'm going to end with a tim keller quote (doesn't exactly relate to my little spill, but nonetheless, it is good!) can't wait for the next post!
"If you know what He has done at infinite cost to himself—He’s put you into a relationship so that you’ll never be rejected by Him—then your motivation when you sin is to go get Him. You want fellowship with Him. When the thing that most assures you is the thing that most convicts you, you’ll be okay because when you’re convicted of sin in a gospel way it drives you toward God. Without the gospel we hate ourselves instead of our sin. Without the gospel we’re motivated through all sorts of awful fear and pride to change and it doesn’t really change our hearts; it just restrains our hearts." — Timothy Keller

Blog Suggestion

2009-06-09T06:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I decided to post my reading list for the summer on my blog. Well, this morning, when I went to my blog I had one response. It was from the author of one of the books I had on my list! I don't know how she came across my blog, but I thought that was pretty cool. She had her own blog listed underneath her comment, so I went to check it out. Its called Flying Solo. Its a blog for single girls. I haven't read a ton yet, so I don't know how great it is. She has mentioned that she's divorced. Obviously, that sends up warning signs, but I don't know her story, so I don't know for sure that she was completely in the wrong for getting divorced. Anyways, just something to check out. http://denisehildreth.typepad.com/flying_solo/.

Hey Guys!

2009-06-07T17:23:00.001-07:00

So, do ya'll get the emails saying that someone has commented on our blog? I might be the only one since I started the blog, I'm not sure. But someone other than people who are a part of the blog commented. How cool is that? We know that our blog has been an encouragement to at least one person. And Danielle, since our blog is your comment thing on your facebook page, I'm guessing more people than that visit our little blog. Therefore, we need to keep this going. We need to keep it going, not only for ourselves, but for the few people who might have been encouraged by what we were saying. I really enjoyed this blog, and I want to get it started back. For real this time. I also want to follow through with what I say, and not just say something but not follow through.

So where do I begin? I don't have a devotional, a song, or even a Bible verse. But, I have the lie that I've been believing lately, and the truth that God is revealing to me. So, this isn't anything new, I've been struggling with it for a while. I'm an art major. An art major doesn't lead to a specific job. I hope I can get a job at an art gallery in Charleston, but that's not guaranteed. Other than that, it feels like you have to go to grad school to get a job with an art major. I've been looking for jobs on-line, and it seems like I'm not even prepared for a secretary job. Here's the beginning of the lie I'm believing, that I'm a smart girl, but because I chose to be an art major, I have nothing that I am capable of doing. This lie leads me to think about the job that I'm sure I'm prepared for, the job that I am convinced I was created for: being a mother. Then I think about my age, 23. For as long as I can remember, okay, maybe that's an exageration, but since eighth or ninth grade, I've thought okay, I have this many years to wait until Ann became a wife, and this many years to wait until Mom became a wife. I'm now two years past the year that Ann became a wife, and maybe a year away from when she had her first child. I'm still five years away from when Mom became a wife, and seven away from when she became a mother. And here's what I begin to think. Mom says to this day that she wishes she could have had more children. But she didn't get started until she was 29 or 30 because she didn't get married until she was 28. I want 4 to 6 children. So I start to think, I'm running out of time. I need to have a year to date, then I need to have a year to be engaged. Then I need two years at least, just to be married. Okay, so if I meet my husband tomorrow, well then I'll be at least 28 before I can have a child. I'm running out of time!!!

So those are the thoughts, the lies, that are running through my head. I struggle with them on a daily basis. I guess I'm just putting it out there. And as I write it, I'm sorry I like to begin sentences with and, I begin to believe it more, and I begin to panic.

But, I also like to begin sentences with but, I also know what God has been reminding me of lately. The desire to be a mother, the desire to have children, and to create a family, is a desire that glorifies God. Its a desire that God created. When I begin to make it more important than him however, when I think that it isn't going to work out, I believe that God doesn't have control, then it becomes an idol. However, when I believe that it is a desire that comes from God, then I know I don't have to worry about it. I know that He will work it out in His timing and His way. The wondeful thing is, that if I leave it up to Him to fulfill, well then two children are just as great as six, and its okay if that's all I have. Its a desire that comes from Him, so I don't have to worry about it. He'll glorify Himself. He doesn't need my help. That doesn't mean I'm going to meet a guy tomorrow, it means that its okay if I don't.

So I started it back. Your turn :)

Just wanted to say...

2009-04-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

That I miss our blog :( I pretty much blew it, it was my turn to write and I didn't. But I miss ya'll, well I miss you Danielle, I see Kate, but I miss our blogging. What do you think? Should we pick it back up?

it's been a while...

2009-01-27T17:21:00.000-08:00

hi friends,
i'm glad to be back into the swing of school and the blog. probably from middle school on, i have kept some kind of either "diary" or prayer journal. and every once in a while i like looking back at those and not only laughing hysterically, but thinking how gracious and faithful my Heavenly Father is and has been. although i haven't experienced immense trials and hardships, i have been through those little "dramas" and uncertainties in life, and feelings of loneliness and all sorts of emotions (anger, bitterness, etc.). it's great to look back at those days and kindof ponder on them and laugh about them all at the same time...but mostly i like pondering over them and seeing how the Lord has been leading me the whole way. as kate said, i focus so much on the today that i forget the bigger picture...of purpose, of desiring the will of Him who has created me and brought me through life so far, and i get so zoned in on myself that it's easy to forget the Lord is constantly whispering "I am here, guiding you...I've been here the whole time". the past few weeks have been so incredibly busy, where it's been so easy to settle into that busy-ness and forget about delighting in the Lord and just sitting down and spending time getting to know Him more. i love those days at starbucks or even sitting in my bed, where i can completely focus on the Word...when i'm intentional about seeking Him. it made me almost jealous thinking you were at cambridge doing just that, kate! i constantly battle with trusting the Lord and opening up all parts of my life to Him, and letting Him become my King in reigning over every single problem, relationship, friendship, action, word, etc. i see also every day that i need Him...i want to know Him, i want to know more of Him and have HIM fill me and acknowledge that He is the only One that CAN fill my longings and desires. it's tough when there is that constant battle of submitting but wanting what we want...and then i remember He's done everything needed for us to be right with Him, we simply need to go to Him and believe that. as i think of more thoughts to share, i'll add them to the blog! i think this is all for now...leaving ya'll with some quotes/verses.
"all my lifelong i had panted for a drink from some cool spring, that i hoped would quench the burning of the thirst i felt within. hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved! Jesus satisfies all my longings, through His blood i now am saved.
feeding on the filth around me, till' my strength was almost gone, longed my soul for something better, only still to hunger on. poor i was and sought for riches something that would satisfy; but the dust i gathered round me, only mocked my soul's sad cry. Hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved! Jesus satisfies all my longings, through His blood i now am saved. well of water, ever springing, Bread of Life so rich and free, untold wealth that never faileth, my Redeemer is to me! hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved! Jesus satisfies all my longings, through His blood i now am saved." - satisfied
"by faith we see, as in a mirror dimly, the reflected image of His unbounded treasures, but when we actually see the heavenly things themselves, with our own eyes, how deep will be the stream of fellowship in which our soul shall bathe! until then, our loudest songs shall be reserved for our loving benefactor, Jesus Christ our Lord, whose love to us is wonderful, surpassing the love of a man for a woman". - spurgeon "morning and evening"

tough day pt.2

2009-01-27T07:32:00.000-08:00

first of all, read the post below this one first!

just so you know, as i write this, there are 2 boys meeting and discussing the word directly in front of me and reading a book by JC Ryle. 2 more from the previous post and 2 behind me. it must be "every cute boy meet and discuss the Word at cambridge" day. hmm. just my luck.

so, i just had a revelation. i am reading Spurgeon's morning. he says...
"There is a fullness of triumph in His ascension, for 'when He ascended up on high, He led captivity captive, and received gifts for men'... Come, believer, and receive largely, for this 'fullness' is inexhaustible, and is treasured up where all the needy may reach it, even in Jesus, Immanuel - God with us."

ok, so i am going to try to word this correctly. what's going through my mind. the devotion comes from the verse, "and of His fullness have all we received." - john 1:16. so, as i see all of these guys who are seeking His Word... i think, these boys are seeking Him. i am impressed with them and want to be with them (partially) because they are seeking Him. they don't have what i want. the Lord hopefully will use them in the lives of women to point women to Him. and hopefully there will be a man one day to do that for me... to guide me and to lead me and to be my partner. but it is all for Christ. and these guys, by sitting and searching the Word are saying, i need Him. i need who He is and what He has to offer. so, i sit here and am thinking... i need Him. i don't need these guys and they don't have what i want. they can't give me this longing that is going on inside of me. that comes from the Lord. He is fullness of all that i need or could ask for or could desire. and my prayer this morning is that i would believe that. that my eyes would not be so focused on what is today... on what may occur on this earth but on my Heavenly Father and how He wants me to point others to Him. praise God for revealing that to me... i will continue to search for His truth.

“God is the ultimate musician. His music transforms your life. The notes of redemption rearrange your heart and restore your life. His songs of forgiveness, grace, reconciliation, truth, hope, sovereignty, and love give you back your humanity and restore your identity.” - paul tripp

“God did not create us to get the cosmic, infinite joy of mutual love and glorification, but to share it. We were to join in the dance. If we center our lives on him, serving him not out of self-interest, but for the sake of who he is, for the sake of his beauty and glory, we will enter the dance and share in the joy and love he lives in. We were designed, then, not just for belief in God in some general way, nor for a vague kind of inspiration or spirituality. We were made to center our lives upon him, to make the purpose and passion of our lives knowing, serving, delighting, and resembling him. This growth in happiness will go on eternally, increasing unimaginably (1 Corinthians 2:7-10).”
- Timothy Keller, The Reason For God

"I don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room
I want to look right at You I want to sing right to You

I believe that You are listening
I believe that You move at the sound of my voice

Give me dove's eyes
Give me undistracted devotion for only You"
- dove's eyes, misty edwards

tough day pt. 1

2009-01-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

hey guys. so, i really do not know if i have much to say. but, this morning i am sitting at cambridge coffee. do you ever have those nights where you just really long for a guy so bad? last night, i literally could not sleep because i wanted someone there so bad, and i knew that the next day would not bring someone. some days i am completely fine and content and just resting in where the Lord has me right now. and some days, i just want a boyfriend so bad. so, i tossed and turned wanting to go ahead and be in daylight. yes, morning always helps. it is always so much better... things are put into perspective and my mind is clear to speak to God and to hear from Him and His Word. so, i went to cambridge coffee. i even skip class, because i couldn't sleep well and have no desire to go, whatsoever, and i have several free misses. so, i'm in cambridge. what do you know, i walk into about 10 boys sitting around the couch having bible study. i believe it is a fraternity bible study and everything this leader guy is saying is very solid. and i'm sitting behind two other individual boys, of siginifigant cuteness, and they're just hanging out, studying their bible. so, the leader gets up and they all disperse and the leader looks older, wiser, and so handsome and he is definitely carrying the book, Prodigal God. i am like, really? really? i practically wanted to leap on one of them... but do not worry i constrained myself. so, this morning, i am going to try to spend some intimate time with Christ. i am going to really dig deep into who He is and find out the fullness of what He has to offer apart from any cute boy who may be a Keller fan. i will let you know what comes of my time.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,
I'm just going to steal this post from my Mom pretty much. Its nothing new, but its still alive and working isn't it?

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders.
and He will be called Wonder Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and FOREVER.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this Isaiah 9: 6-7

He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we shoud desire Him.
He was despised and reject by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.
Surely He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered Him stricken by God, smitten by Him, and afflicted.
But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53: 1-6

This is my addition: O Holy Night

O Holy Night!

The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining.

Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!

O night divine, the night when Christ was born;

The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;

In all our trials born to be our friends.

He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,

Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.

And in his name all oppression shall cease.

With all our hearts we praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,

His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Obviously, I picked my favorite lines. The line "Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth" just makes me want to shout out :) Its such a great reminder that in Him, but only Him, do we find purpose and meaning and worth. Hope you have a great Christmas!

beth moore quote

2008-12-16T17:37:00.000-08:00

"beloved, God is not tired. nor is God tired of you. He delights in your attentions even when you practice them much like you did yesterday. He awaits for you to awaken, and He anticipates His time with you. when you or i ignore Him, He is disappointed. somehow in His self-existent essence and omniscience, His foreknowledge does not cheat Him of reactive emotions. He laughs when you delight Him. He listens when you speak to Him. He honors you when you persevere with Him. in all the changes He is making within you and me. He rejoices in the few things that call for blessed sameness. let's stay faithful, you an i. 'let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up' gal 6:9. "- beth moore quote
hey ya'll---
i know it's christmas break and we will all be busy for the next few wks! but i stumbled across this just a minute ago scanning through the book by beth moore called "believing God". lately i have felt so dry and like i'm in the desert searching for fullness and surrendering everything to the Lord, but it seems unheard and i have not truly rested in God and given Him every day. anna once told me that we sometimes may not "feel" the Lord's presence, we may not feel his blessings, but communion and fellowship with the Lord is one of the BENEFITS of being His child, it is not "God". she said, "sometimes our hearts can love God's gifts to us more than we love Him. and even though God never removes HImself from us, sometimes He strips us of the blessings so that we can learn the meaning of what it is to just have HIm. and to be content in God without having an EXPERIENCE of God...this is true love". for about a year now, that email has stayed in my mind and is so encouraging when i feel like i'm in the desert and i don't feel "close" to the Lord. it is good to desire to feel His presence though and blessings and acceptance. and it is good to be discontent with this earthly condition! she also said this, though, "forget yourself! nail this self-obsession to the cross. give up your rights and needs and lay all those cluttering desires aside, and fix your eyes on Christ. see Him there? see His beauty? see HIs love? in brokeness, surrender, and a renewed gospel-truth-based trust...look at Christ. that's the only branch to grab".
anyways, powerful quotes by 2 amazing women. anna lucy would be honored to know she made our blog! haha. jk. hope ya'll enjoy your breaks, just wanted to share these thoughts with you. it is still encouraging to know i'm not by myself in some of my wanderings :)

running out of titles!

2008-12-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

i'm running out of names for titles...so i'm going to start leaving that blank. i have loved reading ya'lls posts with song lyrics. isn't that cool how we can sortof parallel those love songs to Christ's love for us? it helps us think and see more clearly His unwavering desire and love for us. that is why i loved reading "redeeming love". it comes from such a small, yet powerful book of the Bible, but making into that romantic, deep love story made the love of God seem so much more real and moving.
well guess what- i have a song that i heard yesterday on the radio. does anyone know about the Fray---background? anything about the band? ya'll tell me what you think about this song. i really like the chorus. as far as paralleling it to our walk with the Lord and His relationship to His people and how the songs ya'll have posted shed more light than this song, i think the chorus kindof expresses how we feel sometimes. and i have a quote from my church bulletin that i wanted to send also, but it's in my car and it's raining and i don't want to get off of the couch to go and get it! so i will post it later. here are the lyrics to the song "you found me" by the fray:

I found Godon the corner of First and Amistad

Where the westwas all but won

All along

Smoking his last cigarette

I said, where've you been?

He said, ask anything.

Where were you?

When everything was falling apart.

All my days spent by the telephone.

And all I needed was a call

It never came

To the corner of Firs tand Amistad

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me

Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?Where were you? Where were you?

Just a little late.

You found me, you found me.

But in the end

Everyone ends up alone

Losing hope

The only one who's ever known

Who I am, Who I'm not, Who I want to be

No way to know

How long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me

Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?Where were you? Where were you?

Just a little late.

You found me, you found me.

I've been calling for years and years

and you've never left me no messages

Never sent me no letters

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me

Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?Where were you? Where were you?

Just a little late.

You found me, you found me.

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me

Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?Where were you? Where were you?

Just a little late.

You found me, you found me.

Another Song

2008-12-08T11:32:00.001-08:00

I once read a book, and the author suggested picking a song to listen to before your quiet time with God. I don't really remember what she said, but music is definitely a romantic thing, and while I certainly don't want to make God fit my needs, He is a romantic God, and I believe he created me to desire that from Him. So anyways, I held onto that. Her example was of a friend who used All I Ask as her "song from God." It certainly works and is incredibly beautiful.

My song, is a song by Sister Hazel. Everytime I hear it, I feel like God is speaking to me. I think maybe the fact that its not a Christian song at all makes it more powerful to me. The fact that I hear it and immediately hear it as God speaking to me when it wasn't at all written with that intention. Its so obvious that no man can fulfill what this song says it can, it can only be God, but He most certainly can. Sorry, its kind of long.

Sword and Shield:

Just when the sky runs out of rain
Just when the sun runs out of light
Just when the earth is ill with pain
Just when your body is out of fight

I will be there
I will be the smallest piece in everything
And I would give my life before I break this promise to you

Melt in to me
Don't you want to be the ones that last forever
I'll be your everlasting
And enemies they take your will but they won't last forever
I'll be your sword and shield
and I'll be your sword
I'll be your shield

Just when the ocean starts to dry
Just when the air is sick with smoke
Just when the statues start to cry
And fallen angels they lay broken

I will be there
I will be the smallest piece in everything
And I would lose my life before I break this promise to you

Melt in to me
Don't you want to be the ones that last forever
I'll be your everlasting
And enemies they take your peace but they won't last forever

I'll be your sword and shield and
I'll be your sword
I'll be your shield

I'll be your gracious angel
I'll be your favorite stranger
I'll be the mortar holding your walls
I'll be your army

i'm going to be really cheesy.

2008-12-07T19:40:00.000-08:00

and i stole that title from Rachel Stark and my post will be her stolen words as well. we went to see the AU singers and they sang All I Ask of You from Phantom of the Opera. afterwards, we both agreed that the words are such beautiful words that could so express the love that Christ has for us. i know it might be a stretch to take a love song from a play, but wow... read them.

All I Ask of You

Raoul

No more talk

of darkness,

Forget these

wide-eyed fears.

I'm here,

nothing can harm you -my words will

warm and calm you.

Let me be

your freedom,

let daylight

dry -your tears.

I'm here,with you, beside you,

to guard you

and to guide you . . .

Let me be

your shelter,

let me be your light.

You're safe:

No-one will find you

your fears are

far behind you . . .

christine

All I want

is freedom,

a world with

no more night . . .

and you

always beside me

to hold me

and to hide me . . .

raoul

Then say you'll share with

me one

love, one lifetime . . .

Iet me lead you

from your solitude . . .

Say you need me

with you

here, beside you . . .

anywhere you go,

let me go too -Christine,

that's all I ask

of you . . .

Anywhere you go

let me go too . . .

Love me -that's all I ask

of you .

umm, umm. so good. what a beautiful love He has for us.

"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him." - John 14:21

ah!

2008-12-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

sarah----- loved that quote/advice! that is definitely something i have been needing to hear...i compare myself alot especially lately to people and in the department of relationships. it is a serious cause of discontentment and bitterness. what a refreshing reminder to rest content in the Lord! that is something i need to hear DAILY...could you post more quotes from that book?! i've heard it's GREAT...i really want to read it. love you!

Quick Post

2008-12-02T12:17:00.001-08:00

So I'm reading this book, Calm My Anxious Heart. Its really good. I highly recommend it. I'm actually restarting it for the second time though because I left it at home when I was in the middle. So I'm back to the beginning. Anyway, in the very first chapter she shares what a missionary in Africa had written in her own diary about learning to be content. She says:

-Never allow yourself to complain about anything--not even the weather.

-Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.

-Never compare your lot with another's.

-Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.

-Never dwell on tomorrow--remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

I found that very convicting. I do all of that often. Anyways, I just thought I'd share in case you could use that as much as I could.

I'm going to have to head back to class now :( I mean, yay!

psalm 77

2008-11-30T17:59:00.000-08:00

so my pastor's sermon today was on psalm 77. we're going through a series on suffering. i'm going to type out most of this psalm...
"my voice rises to God, and i will cry aloud; my voice rises to God, and He will hear me. in the day of my trouble i sought the Lord; in the night my hand was stretched out with weariness; my soul refused to be comforted. when i remember God, then i am disturbed; when i sigh, then my spirit grows faint. you have held my eyelids open; i am so troubled that i cannot speak. i have considered the days of old, the years of long ago. i will remember my song in the night; i will meditate with my heart and my spirit ponders:
will the Lord reject forever? and will He enverr be favorable again? has His promise come to an end forever? has God forgotten to be gracious, or has He in anger withdrawn His compassion? then i said, "it is my grief, that the right hand fo the Most High has changed". i shall remember the deeds of the Lord; surely i will remember your wonders of old. i will meditate on all your works and muse on your deeds. your way o God is holy, what god is great like our God? the waters saw you o God; the waters saw you, they were in anguish; the deeps also trembled...your way was THROUGH the sea and your paths in the mighty waters, and your footprints may not be known...you led our people like a flock. "
our pastor this morning talked about suffering and how the parting of the red sea parallels with this psalmist's words. asaph, the psalmist, talks about the path of God being holy...and that it was THROUGH the sea that God took His people when He parted it. i liked how our pastor talked about how God takes us through suffering not AROUND it, and going through the suffering reshapes us like an "extrusion"---the process by which metal is reshaped by going through a certain dye, that reshapes it and makes it better i think...or more valuable? but God didn't necessarily take His people AROUND the red sea, He led them through it after parting them and on the other side of the red sea, their faith grew and their trust was stronger in the Lord than it had been before. and the whole time God never left their side. He had gone before them and with them. how comforting! in this world of darkness and loneliness and struggles, we can trust that God's path, even when it is THROUGH the suffering, is PERFECT. and we may not know his "footprints", but we can rest in His hands and not our own. the process of extrusion and shaping us into His likeness and holiness starts with going through suffering and pain. and although asaph went through the darkest depths and cried out to the Lord many times and even questioned (in faith) God....the middle of the psalms declares his trust and remembering the faithfulness of the Lord and that there is hope in knowing God's way and that He leads His people even when the way may be dark. i just love this!

Continuation of Dancing

2008-11-22T18:56:00.000-08:00

Danielle, I love that song! Its been a while since I've heard, but I remember listening to it and always contemplating the depth of God's love for me. He truly does take our hand and lead us. It made me think of a post from this summer on my other blog, so I thought I'd share. Its excerpts from Tim Keller's A Reason For God along with another song :) We just can't stop.

By the way, I looked at the pictures, and Bethany Dillon is beautiful, the pictures were beautiful, but it still looks weird to me. She looks like his little sister, not his wife. But I'm happy for them, my opinion certainly doesn't matter, haha!

"The inner life of the triune God, however, is utterly different. The life of the Trinity is characterized not by self-centeredness but by mutually self-giving love. When we delight and serve someone else, we enter into a dynamic orbit around him or her, we center on the interests and desires of the other. That creates a dance, particularly if there are three persons, each of whom moves around the other two. So it is, the Bible tells us. Each of the divine persons centers upon the others. None demands that the others revolve around him. Each voluntarily circles the other two, pouring love, delight, and adoration into them. Each person of the Trinity loves, adores, defers to, and rejoices in the others. That creates a dynamic, pulsating dance of joy and love. The early leaders of the Greek church had a word for this-perichoresis. Notice our word "choreography" within it. It means literally to "dance or flow around."

"God did not create us to get the cosmic, infinite joy of mutual love and glorification, but to share it. We were made to join in the dance. If we will center our lives on him, serving him not out of self-interest, but just for the sake of who he is, for the sake of his beauty and glory, we will enter the dance and share in the joy and beauty and glory, we will enter the dance and share in the joy and love he lives in. We were designed, then, not just for belief in God in some general way, nor for a vague kind of inspiration or spirituality. We were made to center our lives upon him, to make the purpose and passion of our lives knowing, serving, delighting, and resembling him. This growth in happiness will go on eternally, increasing unimaginably (1 Corinthians 2:7-10)."

"When Jesus died for you he was, as it were, inviting you into the dance. He invites you to begin centering everything in your life on him, even as he has given himself for you."

Copeland is one of my favorite bands, and from what I've heard they are all Christians. This is one of my favorite songs by them, and I've always liked to think of it as an allegory of God. They probably didn't write it with that intention, but after reading this chapter, I will definitely think of it that way.

May I Have This Dance

May I have this dance?
Saw you sitting lonely,
I hoped you would say "Yes"

May I have this dance?
Look into my eyes
as I offer you my hand, my hand

Dance forever...

Stretch out my hand
To dance with your inviting, warmth providing hand
And I'll stand out facing me, embracing me
Into my companion for a dance
Dance forever...Dance forever!

When we dance, I'll whisper nothing in your ear
Speak in words you'd never hear
This, my love, it will not stop or start
And, you know that in your heart
You know that in your heart...

You lift your hands to me!
You lift your hands to me, and hold me so close!
We will dance forever!
We will dance forever!
We will dance forever!

A side note. I went to a Sacred Harp conference today. It was incredible, such beautiful music! The story I want to share though is about an older couple. For each song a different person would get up to conduct the song. 75% of the group was elderly people. So cute and fun to watch. Anyway, this one older woman gets up to lead and a man comes with her. She's standing there, but obviously unstable. He's there prepared to grab on as soon as she needs him. And she did need him. It didn't take long for her to reach out for him, and he was completely prepared. They moved so easily together. When she wasn't able to turn to conduct a different section of the room he immediately took over. I feel like I can't describe it well enough. It wasn't like he saw her needing help and then reacted, it was like he instinctively knew and they just moved together. Another thing, she almost appeared to be blind, and had been sitting in a wheel chair before he helped her up. It was obvious that he was in much better shape than she. As they finished and went to sit down she announced that they had shared their 53rd wedding anniversary the day before. It was just beautiful! It was such an incredible picture of what marriage should be. Thinking of the other person above yourself completely, and being prepared to work together to love each other through everything and to support each other completely. I saw Christ in it. I couldn't help but see Christ's love for her through that man, through that marriage. It was such a beautiful picture of love, which comes from Christ alone.

I think I've had a distorted idea of marriage and love lately. I've desired the passion, attraction, and romance so much that I forget what marriage is for. Marriage was created to glorify God, and a marriage that isn't centered on Him will be worth nothing, will be miserable, and won't work. There's no purity or beauty in it apart from Him. It was so encouraging. I wish ya'll could have seen it! I hope I did some good describing it :)

more song lyrics...:)

2008-11-20T16:14:00.000-08:00

sarah- i think that is a great idea--- and then we can make a cd of the songs that we have on our list!! (hint...so i won't have to download all of them, when ya'll could burn them for me!) haha. well kate, i have some song lyrics to post on here from bethany dillon....this song is so good and i love her lyrics!
"for my love"
Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued...

i really just like that she's honest...and if you take it from our perspective and our ultimate desire for Christ, it is so true that sometimes we're scared to truly be known by someone, even the Lord. we want to hide, but when we SEE Him, we long for His love and for His pursuing US. i love the chorus that just summarizes the romance and love story of God for His people and as women especially we want to know that the man will fight THOUSANDS for our love...and that GOD did fight for us to win over our hearts. ahhhh i just love it. every time i listen to this song i can't help but picture the scenario of Christ's death and that He pursues us, and the lyrics say, "slip your hand in mine, ask me to dance with you tonight, just ask me for my love"...i just picture Christ holding my hand and leading me and joyously dancing and asking for my LOVE. He wants ALL of us, He wants our hearts and every piece of them...not just little parts that we want to give Him, but EVERYTHING. it baffles me that He is gracious enough that while we run from Him and try to hide, He's right there. how blind and selfish we are to want anything more than Christ's offer.
last thing---as i was looking up the lyrics on google...i stumbled upon bethany and shane's wedding pics...AHHHHHH. haha so appropriately, why not look at their wedding pictures and wish that we were her?? jk. but really they are cute. love ya'll!
http://www.benharrisonphotography.com/news/index.php?link=34&cat=2

our humble King.

2008-11-20T09:10:00.001-08:00

yesterday i read a really powerful article from the magazine, byFaith. the article explained how even though we often believe God is not answering our prayers, He is. and it went into detail of the Lord's prayer. i will just type some of the excerpts that really struck me...

in the opening lines alan dowd explains unanswered prayers...

"Followers of Christ know there's really no such thing. God answers all of our prayers; it's just that, like a parent who denies a two-year-old's pleading request for more of this or that, He happens to answer some of our prayers with a no. And it's these negatively answered prayers that often frustrate, confuse, and challenge us."

on "hallowed be Your name"...

"Isaiah reminds us that 'He was despised and rejected by men... we esteem him not.' The prophet contines:'He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.' He was, according to Isaiah, 'a man of sorrows... like one from whom men hide their faces.' "

"God is in the details"...

"The good news is that Jesus went through all of this for us. The prayers that seemingly went unanswered, for a time, were answered with an emphatic 'Yes!' for eternity. As Paul would later explain in his second letter to Corinth, 'No matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ.

That means those who have gone hungry or been tempted or wrestled with what seem to be unanswered prayers can find comfort in the fact that Jesus has walked the same path and yet overcome. Jesus, as the author of Hebrews writes, 'had to enter into every detail of human life.'

So He knows what it's like to feel homesick and lonely and out of place. He knows what it's like to be hated for no good reason. He knows what it's like to be tempted to the breaking point. He knows what it's like when a loved one is sick or when a child dies. He knows what it's like when people laugh at you for what you believe. He knows what it's like when it seems that God has hidden His face. He knows what it's like when a friend betrays you. He knows what it's like to be hungry and thirsty and alone. He knows what it's like to cry out for Daddy - to scream 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' - and yet feel like an orphan. He even knows what it's like to pray desperate prayers and to hear only silence.

But just as important for us, He knows what it's like to hear the 'Well done!' that comes after the silence - and to trust that the Father will answer every prayer according to His perfect plan."

- Alan Dowd for byFaith magazine

wow!!! we serve a faithful and loving God. and i think the reason i put this on this blog imparticular is that He understands our loneliness. if we are lonely for a husband, friends, or family, Jesus experienced all of that. and we are called to die to self and strive for a godly life which Jesus perfectly portrayed. may we look more and more like Him each day. and, too, when we pray for a husband or simply a date or for friends or for our families to understand, He's not ignoring us, He's answering in His time. so often, it's so easy to get impatient. but He's a sovreign God who sees further than we do. He comforts us in our pain and our longing and in our loneliness. ya'll, we don't even have to get married! yes, i want that, but if we fully grasp the greatness of who He is than even a husband falls to the way side. not in day to day life, when the temptations creep in, but when see God face to face all we would want is Him! i pray that His love and His glory, though, would be portrayed in our relationships and others would see the beauty that is in Him. and i think that marriage paints a beautiful picture of that love. but it doesn't fullfill those deep longings. our Savior who gave His entire life for us, He loves us like Romeo loves Juliet... and i know that sounds so cheesy, but ya'll that's what i crave! i crave a Romeo or a Jack from Titanic. someone who fights for me, who sees me and is in awe of me, and will do anything to have me. and, well, that's my God. yes, i know that's cheesy, but i'm sure you know what i'm saying. or Noah from the Notebook. it's portrayed in all our movies. that heroic love. and it's real! ok... now i'm just getting on a rant. but, basically take comfort in Him today! sorry, danielle, i am going to end with more song lyrics... rita springer. she's pretty great!and misty edwards. they kind of go hand in hand. but, for now i'm going to post rita....

worth it all

I don't understand Your ways

Oh but I will give You my song

Give You all of my praise

You hold on to all my pain

With it You are pulling me closer

And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner

And up every mountain

I'm not looking for crowns

Or the water from fountains

I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing

That the sight of Your face

Is all that I need

I will say to You

You're gonna be worth it

You're gonna be worth it all

I believe this

here's the advice...haha

2008-11-19T18:15:00.001-08:00

i forgot to add this to my post!!
Some specific suggestions for how a Christian man can put these principles into action in a dating relationship:
1. Commit to take the lead in the godliness of your relationship. Read the Bible’s passages about how men and women and all Christians should treat one another. Especially take the lead in establishing boundaries that will keep you from sexual sin. Assume that this woman is going to be your wife or the wife of some other Christian brother (who might be currently dating your future wife). Treat her as the precious sister in Christ that she is.
2. Decide in advance whether or not you are willing to love a woman in the self-sacrificing, nurturing way the Bible describes. Until you are ready to faithfully hold a woman’s heart in your hand, do not enter into a dating relationship.
3. Realizing that God wants you to learn to put her interest ahead of your own, ask her the kinds of things she likes to do and be eager to spend time doing them.
4. Be willing to talk about the relationship. Initiate honest dialogue about how you feel. Do not resent her desire to have the relationship defined, but protect her heart by making your level of commitment clear and thereby making clear the appropriate kind of intimacy to go along with that commitment.
5. Pay attention to her heart. Ask her about her burdens and cares. Seek ways to minister to her and to make her cares your own. Instead of being critical of her, speak words of encouragement and support.
6. Do not be shy in ministering the Word of God to her. Do not preach, but exhort her and call to mind God’s promises and God’s love for her in Jesus Christ. Make it a primary goal that she will be spiritually stronger by having been in a relationship with you.
7. If something about her bothers you, think about how you can encourage her in that area. Realize that none of us is without flaws. Pray for her weakness and try to strengthen her in that area. If your concerns are enough to deter you from wanting to marry her, let her know in a forthright manner while being as considerate as possible.

Richard D. Phillips and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 77-78. Used by Permission.

What, then, does submission and respect look like for a woman in a dating relationship? Here are some guidelines:
1. A woman should allow the man to initiate the relationship. This does not mean that she does nothing. She helps! If she thinks there is a good possibility for a relationship, she makes herself accessible to him and helps him to make conversation, putting him at ease and encouraging him as opportunities arise (she does the opposite when she does not have interest in a relationship with a man). A godly woman will not try to manipulate the start of a relationship, but will respond to the interest and approaches of a man in a godly, encouraging way.
2. A godly woman should speak positively and respectfully about her boyfriend, both when with him and when apart.
3. She should give honest attention to his interests and respond to his attention and care by opening up her heart.
4. She should recognize the sexual temptations with which a single man will normally struggle. Knowing this, she will dress attractively but modestly, and will avoid potentially compromising situations. She must resist the temptation to encourage sexual liberties as a way to win his heart.
5. The Christian woman should build up the man with God’s Word and give encouragement to godly leadership. She should allow and seek biblical encouragement from the man she is dating.
6. She should make “helping” and “respecting” the watchwords of her behavior toward a man. She should ask herself, “How can I encourage him, especially in his walk with God?” “How can I provide practical helps that are appropriate to the current place in our relationship?” She should share with him in a way that will enable him to care for her heart, asking, “What can I do or say that will help him to understand who I really am, and how can I participate in the things he cares about?”
7. She must remember that this is a brother in the Lord. She should not be afraid to end an unhealthy relationship, but should seek to do so with charity and grace. Should the relationship not continue forward, the godly woman will ensure that her time with a man will have left him spiritually blessed.

Richard D. Phillips and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 85-86. Used by Permission.

more song lyrics/advice :)

2008-11-19T17:42:00.000-08:00

kate!!! AND SARAH, you both need to stop posting song lyrics, simply because i have already bought on itunes the sandra m. song and just now the caedmon's call song---not good for the budget!! haha. BUT ironically, i have song lyrics from hillsong that i LOVE, and then some "advice" or tips for Christian dating that apply to men and women that mrs. cindy, my friend, sent to me to share on the blog.
the lyrics from hillsong united have actually led me to my knees literally, arms and hands open, desiring so much to have this posture of heart DAILY... especially, as kate said, just waiting for the Lord and wanting to submit our desires to God. how i long to "give all i am to seek HIS face, to place my WHOLE life in His hands". it has been so refreshing to literally be on my knees in prayer asking for the Lord's direction, but praising Him for every part of my life, even the hard things...it's a good reminder of our position as compared to God's, us submitting our lives, our hearts, desires, EVERYTHING to Him. HE is the One who receives all glory and praise.

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek Your face
Lord all I am is is Yours

My whole life
I place in Your hands
God of mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at Your throne

I called You answered
And You came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where You are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

song lyrics, continued.

2008-11-19T10:58:00.000-08:00

yes... i love that song, sarah. it was pretty much my theme song last year. gotta love sandra mccracken. something that i have learned and know that ya'll have as well, as we continue to wait upon God for a husband or anything at all, is that we must die to all that we want or desire and allow Him to take those desires under His control. the more i must die, and the more i must wait, the more it draws me to Him and makes me love Him more. though, this isn't always my first instinct. it's more like, God please give me what i want, then i realize in Your timing alone. well, caedmon's call really nails these truths in the song, ten thousand angels. i guess you could say this is my theme song this year. haha.

"ten thousand angels" - caedmon's call

how long you have traveled in darkness weeping
no rest in language, no words to speak
but there in the wreckage beneath bricks and bindings
love has come, love has come for you

against the night sky of your waiting
your face is like starlight when he walks in
everything worth keeping comes through dying
love has come, love has come for you

so lift up your heart now, to this unfolding
all that has been broken will be restored
here runs deep waters for all who are thirsty
love has come, love has come for you

ten thousand angels will light your pathway
until the day breaks fully in the East
they will surround you and make your way straight
love has come, love has come for you
love has come, love has come for you

Oh Song Lyrics

2008-11-18T14:39:00.000-08:00

So, I don't have a lot of time to spend writing, but I just really wanted to share these lyrics. I know Kate knows this song because I heard it for the first time on her cd. I'm sure even if you know it, you'll enjoy reading it.

I've found that I go through these phases of longing. Its like my loneliness and desperation for a boyfriend has to build up to this breaking point until its like I can't take it anymore. I finally just have to give it up. Well, this has been the longest its taken me to get past it. Honestly, I don't know when I've ever struggled this bad with the guy thing. However, I think I reached that point yesterday where I just realized how distorted my thinking was. I was reminded that God is protecting me. He is saving me and preparing me for Himself ultimately, but also for the right guy, not for a guy I want to settle for. Its all things that I've known, but I'm finally starting to believe them again. So, the song. I specifically love the second verse. I've been listening to the song none stop for a while now, but this verse rang so true for me today.

Shelter

In the arms of a good Father
You can go to the deep water
Where the questions, we have left unspoken
Come out in the open
We will find shelter here

So I lay down, what I cannot hold in my hands
Every sorrow and hope spinning out of control
And here I find sweet resolution comes in letting go
And we will find shelter here

When I look back I can see,
And when I am old I'll remember these things
Like a mountain of stone
And the longing that makes me believe...

There is a tree by the blue river
Where the shade stretches wide over
In this breaking we are hand and glove
Come with me my love
We will find shelter here
We will find shelter here

i love elisabeth elliot!

2008-11-18T11:52:00.000-08:00

this post will be mostly elisabeth's LONG quote from her book (an appropriate title, "The Path of Loneliness")---if you get a chance, you should read it! depressing title, but hope-filled MESSAGE!
first though, i wanted to share a little truth that came into my mind this morning as i was running at shelby farms. a BEAUTIFUL cold day with so many different colored leaves everywhere and every piece of God's creation i saw around me looked so clear and crisp. you know what i'm talking about? as i was running, i glanced over and saw a really pretty white bird flying by itself above the lake. the first thing that came to my mind was that the bird was by itself, lonely probably, and flying around but he was flying with confidence. i started to compare my story to the bird's and thought, that bird has a family, it has life and breath, it is lonely. these things i can relate to, but one stuck out most in my mind, and that is---the bird was created by GOD, the great Creator of the universe. I was created by God. then this verse came to mind from matthew 10:29-32
"are not two sparrows sold for a cent? and yet not one of them will fall the the ground apart from your Father, but the very hairs of your head are all numbered. so do not fear; you are more valuable than MANY sparrows. therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, i will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven".
isn't this so humbling, comforting, and moving? God created that lonely bird that was flying around. God gave it wings, life, breath, flight, family, etc. and that same God, whom i was thinking---wow He created that powerful beautiful bird, created US. and even more, He created us from His image, which makes us beautiful! and more valuable than many sparrows! and in matthew, the truth---"but the very hairs of your head are numbered..." God is loving. He has created us for PURPOSE, for His glory. and how comforting that He cares so much for us. it's funny what people can think up and imagine in their heads while running or just randomly throughout the day so many thoughts will pop into my head like that. they probably aren't "normal"...not many people tell stories about being able to relate to birds they see flying around a lake. but praise the Lord that that image came to mind this morning and i had a beautiful start to the day and an overwhelming sense of His love and presence and that all of this---the beautiful story of the Gospel, Creation, the relationship of a Father and the sacrifice of His only Son, the redemption that His blood has provided, ALL of His Word is real. it's funny because as i have gone through this semester of learning about the complexity of head and neck muscles, the complexity of teeth and if any miniscule part of our body were not where it should be or were not functioning in such a way that it has been created, our bodies, mouths, etc. would not work as they were meant to! and i'll think about one tooth and how much is associated with that one tooth out of many, and all of the characteristics about it and how it fits with the other teeth to make the mouth a certain shape, and i have thought to myself---how can someone NOT believe a supernatural God, a transcendent, personal being made this? it baffles me that people claim a force or a man-made god could have created such intricate, complex things...
now the quote from e.elliot:
"my theme is oblation---the offering up of ourselves, all we are, have, do and suffer. sacrifice means something received and something offered. but some may be wondering, How, exactly do i do this? i hesitate to prescribe a method for so solemn and vital a spiritual transaction. God knows your heart and will accept your offering in any way you can make it, i am sure, but a very simple thing has helped me. it is to kneel with open hands before the Lord. be silent for a few minutes, putting yourself consciously in His presence. think of Him. then think of what you have received in the four categories mentioned (are, have, do, suffer)- the gift of a child, for example, or, years later, the empty nest; the gift of work of the inability to work; marriage or singleness; pleasures or burdens; joy or sorrow. next, visualize as well as you can this gift, resting there in your open hands. thank the Lord for whatever aspect of the gift you can honestly thank Him for---if not for the thing in itself, then for its transformability, for His sovereignty, His will which allows you to have this gift, His unfailing love, the promise of His presence in deep waters and hot fires, the pattern for good which you know He is at work on. then, quite simply, offer it up. make God's gift to you your oblation to Him. lift up your hands. this is a physical act denoting your love, your acceptance, your thanksgiving, and your trust that the Lord will make of it something redemptive for the wholeness of the Body, even for the life of the world. do not look for dramatic effects. there may be no discernible result. as my dear friend Frank Murray, an elder brother to me in the Lord, said regarding a matter we had prayed about, "IT IS A MISTAKE TO MEASURE SUCH THINGS BY INTROSPECTION. HE HEARD AND ANSWERED. THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT. LET THE ANSWER BE MANIFESTED IN HIS OWN TIME AND WAY". i think you will begin to know the strange peace that is not the world's kind."- e.elliot...the path of loneliness :)

we are not alone.

2008-11-16T07:34:00.000-08:00

girls, ya'll are just insanely encouraging. i need this blog. praise God, ya'll thought of it. yes, i agree i loved those max lucado quotes and again, i'm pretty skeptical of him as well. and yes, i believe it is an easy and very scary mentality to just waste our singleness away waiting untill we meet mr. husband and then begin our life. it's like i wouldn't ever admit to that, and then when i think about it, i feel like often i do have that mentality. wow, that was a beautiful passage on esther.

hmm, that's a very dramatic title. it almost sounds alienish but that's not what i mean at all. haha. i don't know about ya'll, but sometimes i think i am the only one walking around with these struggles and feeling lonely... and gasp, wanting to feel sorry for myself. praise God, though, that in those moments He has taught me enough truth to know that i have no reason and no room to feel sorry for anything about my life. i was made aware of this verse and it's true meaning this summer and it has really affected me... actually in ways other than waiting on a husband and the struggle that goes along with that, but now i think it really applies following what i just typed. 1 Corinthians 15:19 says, "If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied." paul is saying, if this salvation, this belief system that we have isn't true and only a part of life here on earth and not eternal (which we know is not true) then our lives are to be pitied. people would feel so sorry for the lives that we lead. think of paul in prison traveling singly proclaiming the truth of the Gospel as he is mocked and beaten. well, i don't know about you, but i don't think there's much about my life to be pitied. and i'm not saying as a Christian we ought to suffer for the sake of suffering. but God calls us to a life that is lower than those who follow this world. our lives are going to look so different if we truly follow Him. and, that may include singleness... that includes not dating or having sex untill we're 30 years old (well i hope it's not that long, but you never know). here is john piper's take on this life with Christ and that verse...
"In other words, here is a life of radical, risk-taking, perilous, sacrificial love. Where did it come from? Where would yours come from? Well, look again at our text, verse 19: "If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied." Now we see what "this life" means to Paul - risk, peril, danger, suffering - all in the service of love. And we stand in awe - and there rises up a longing in our hearts to be like that. It is written by God, I believe, on your heart that this is beautiful. This is right. This is true. This, in the end, would be the best life."
aggghhh! that is just one of those quotes that just makes me want to shout and say, yes!! that's it. that's what i want my life to be about! and, then life kicks in. but it's so true! suffering brings beauty! it brings hope! it brings deep, deep love in Him!!

ok, and here's the original reason i started this post. i'm not even really sure where that first part came from. this song by caedmon's call encourages me so, so much. gosh, i just love it. and i know you have all heard it. but it's the song that just comforts me in knowing, these fears are understandable and they are not only my fears but they are fears of maybe, derek webb himself! so... i love it. and it includes a little verse from some of my favorite scripture.... matthew 6! but, that's why i say we are not alone. it is a common struggle. i am going to bold my favorite lines in case you do not want to read the entire thing... so without further ado, here's table for two. (ha, that rhymed :)).

table for two

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
Talkin' 'bout soccer
And how every man's just the same
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain

And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By looking around
But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay
I'm given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
But it's not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.

good reminders :)

2008-11-13T19:09:00.000-08:00

a friend sent this to me today, i invited her to join the blog. this is such a great reminder...:
"The preparation of Esther reminds me of that
precious time between the awakening of desire in a young
woman.s heart to share her life with a mate and the
moment she walks down the aisle. For many, this time of
preparation is seen as nothing more than a time of waiting.
Single women often see themselves as sitting on the shelf
while life passes them by, or as sitting on the bench while
others play the game. They do not realize that they are
wasting the most important time of their lives, they are
robbing themselves of great joy and reward, they are
robbing their future husbands of a more virtuous woman,
and they are robbing God of a servant through whom He
desires to do great things.
Every season in life has a beauty and wonder of its
own. My prayer for all single Christian women is that they
might enjoy their time in spite of the lies of the world. That
they might be demanding and not settle for anything less
than the perfect will of God. That they might wait patiently
on God who is the giver of every good and perfect gift.
That they might be like Esther, using whatever time God
deems necessary to make them beautiful on the inside and
out."
Becoming Esther
by Charo & Paul Washer
sarah- i enjoyed reading your post today! i loved the verses and quotes by lucado. i agree with you though, he can definitely be the motivational speaker-type. which in some cases is refreshing, and in others it is kind of surfacey and not what you may want to hear at the time...but i loved the quotes you put! i especially liked the bold "we only need to know He leads". after reading the article i copied and pasted above, i totally see this as being a season where the Lord is working within us. He is present and He is working in ways we don't see but we must trust. i am in awe that He pursues even through my lack of faithfulness and trust. and i love the term "romanced". especially after reading "redeeming love" 2 times, i felt assured and definitely reminded that God is love. He constantly is pursuing us no matter how much and how often we run away from Him. and it's sad and humbling at the same time how much we DO run from Him, when He is the One who loves us unconditionally. i have to be honest and say that i struggle with seeing myself as "sitting on the shelf" watching the world pass me by, when the Lord has sovereignly put this season in my life for HIS glory. selfishly, i look at myself with pity and get into this withdrawal stage where all i want to do is feel sorry for myself. when it seems all of my friends are in relationships or are engaged/married, it's hard not to feel this way. and sometimes i question God and ask Him why i do feel this way, because i desire so much to completely trust Him, and yet so often i look inwardly and am selfish. i so desire for this time in my life to be glorifying to Him and to the Lover of my soul! i so desire to serve Him and truly KNOW and love Him more! but i know and can feel the attack of self-pity and how much it DOES rob me of joy. and something that has stuck with me for months now is something anna l. sent me in a letter that said, "aim for restoration!" with the verse- "restore to me the joy of thy salvation"- ps 51:12. and from ps 23- "HE restores my soul". i'm drawn more and more daily to know everlasting joy through HIM that will banish the self-pity and allow me to live for His Kingdom and not for earthly treasures and not for myself.

to know Him more!

Two Days in a Row

2008-11-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a little overexcited, two days in a row. What can I say, I'm more inspired by this blog than my other. I'm especially inspired by this topic, and like Danielle said, I find writing about it therapeutic. Even though I'm not a writer, I've always found that when I have a lot of thoughts going through my head its easier to think them through when I write them all down. Be prepared for this to be long :)

I called Kate last night and we vented for about an hour. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. There might be a new guy in my life whom I could definitely form a crush on and might even receive some encouragement from in that area. However, although he's a nice and fun guy, its not a crush that I can allow to go anywhere. I get very discouraged by these crushes because it just feels like a tease. It always makes me a little more sad each time because I want more than a crush for once.

I am very much a romantic, and I believe I need to understand more thoroughly how God romances me. I believe God has created me this way and wants to be the one to woo me, pursue me, romance me. Ann (Fleener) recently said something to me that has stuck. She said, quoting Rick Stark, that everything good and enjoyable in this world is only here because God hasn't removed Himself from our presence. I'd heard that before, but then she said so think about it, the coziness and enjoyment of a hot cup of coffee, is His grace. So, its made me think about everything I enjoy and to really see that it only comes from Him. That is romantic.

So, last night after talking to Kate I pulled out this book, Mocha with Max, by Max Lucado. It was a favorite of mine in high school. It just has small quotes, verses, and short stories that are encouraging. Now, normally, I'm not a big fan Max Lucado, he's just a little too motivational speaker like. However, this book is very encouraging and helps me to see God as our Ultimate Pursuer. I want to share some of my favorites from it.

"God loves you simply because he has chosen to do so.

He loves you when you don't feel lovely.

He loves you when no one else loves you.

Others may abandon you, divorce you, and ignore you, but God will love you. Always. No Matter what."

"God loves you. Personally. Powerfully. Passionately. Others have promised and failed. But God has promised and succeeded. He loves you with an unfailing love. "

"Others love you because of you, because your dimples dip when you smile or your rhetoric charms when you flirt. Some people love you because of you. Not God. He loves you because he is he. He loves you because he decides to. Self-generated, uncaused, and spontaneous, his constant-level love depends on his choice to give it."

"God isn't going to let you see the distant scene. So you might as well quit looking for it. He promises a lamp unto our feet, not a crystal ball into the future. We do not need to know what will happen tomorrow. We only need to know he leads."

"But why? Why would heaven's finest son endure earth's toughest pain? so you would know that "he is able...to run to the cry of...those who are being tempted and tested and tried" (Hebrew 2:18)

Now some verses :)

Christ Jesus...being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross! Philippians 2:5-8

I'll call nobodies and make them somebodies; I'll call the unloved and make them beloved. Romans 9:25 (MSG)

You knit me together in my mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

-I think that might be the most intimate verse in the Bible, just my opinion. The Bible says that he spoke the world into being, but that He knit us together.

I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son. John 3:16

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

I hope ya'll will enjoy all of this as much as I did.

never saw you coming...

2008-11-12T15:50:00.000-08:00

"I am the lover with no one to hold
I am the seeker with an empty soul
I'm everyone who's ever lost hope
And I never saw you coming
I could never dream of running
I have never known such love before
My God, you come, come and breathe your breath in me
Steal away what's left of me
Til you are mine and I am yours
Fall like stars on my shore
Still you are so much more"
who doesn't love bebo norman? this is a song off his new self-titled cd that came out in september. sarah, it is absolutely amazing! if you don't have it, i highly recommend downloading/buying it. every song holds so much meaning and is so prevalent in what the Christian life is about. kate and sarah, both of your posts were so uplifting and encouraging. selfishly, i wanted to start this blog because of my own struggles with desires for relationships and not resting content in the Lord's plan. it is so encouraging to hear that close friends (although separated by distance) are going through the same things and are seeking after the Lord. so i'm going to start this post and end it with bebo norman...i have another song that is truly incredible.
so this year has truly been a time of learning and growing in Christ...i won't go into a lot of detail, but i have been through a lot of heartache and withdrawal after my boyfriend and i broke up last fall. as ya'll know, it was so hard, and i felt so alone and didn't know what to think or feel after being distanced from this person after dating him for so long. but how the Lord works and NOT on our timing! although i have considered this "suffering" and a trial, i also see it as a blessing. after reading sarah's post about initiating and the woman should wait on the man and the Lord ultimately, i realized that that is exactly what i have been going through this past yr. i've tried so hard to mend things with the guy i dated, and i have initiated so much effort into fixing things and trying to get back together with him, that i slowly became drained and physically, emotionally, spiritually TIRED and my "well" felt absolutely dried up. just recently i have finally, by the Lord's goodness, been brought to a place of rest and peace after talking with the boy. i initiated the conversation simply because i had to tell i couldn't put so much time and effort into this anymore, if nothing was coming from the other end. should i have kindof made the "ultimatum"? i still don't know even a week and half later how i mustered the courage and willingness to say what i said to him, but i was completely honest with him. basically, this whole year i've wrongfully held on to ONLY him and put all hopes into dating him again...but the Lord had different plans that may not be what i want, but i'm learning to trust what HE works and does is SO GOOD and so much better than what i could have ever manipulated or figured out on my own. sometimes i wonder, "God, why the whole year of drawing me to you and finally bringing me peace in trusting you? why this whole situation of heartbreak, why so long?" But as kate said, God knows best. He knows far better than we do. and it IS a delight and brings so much rest to just trust Him with everything---even with our desires and what WE want. so this is how i see it as a blessing on the flip side of it being suffering- the Lord does use the suffering, trials, heartache, etc. to break us...He makes us "weak, yet in our weakness He is strong"....when i felt hopeless as if i couldn't break free from the sin of "idolizing" and being consumed in the thoughts and efforts of getting back together with this guy, the LORD was strong and He became what i wanted most to hold on to. ps 6 is a great picture of David in anguish crying out to the Lord and not saying, "Why, Lord, is this suffering coming upon me?" instead he cries out, "How long, O Lord, How long?" the morning of the sunday i had the last convo with the boy was when my pastor at church gave a sermon on suffering and this exact psalm. all i could think about that day before having the convo was this psalm. david was completely honest with God and opened up to God about his despair and his weakness, but at the end he says, "For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping; the Lord has heard my supplication, the Lord receives my prayer..." i am so grateful to the Lord for showing me CLEARLY that His plan for my life is better than what i wanted. He hasn't exactly taken desires away, but He has provided enough grace for me to make it each day and has slowly healed my heart and brought it to the position it needs to be- humbly before the Cross, in view of my sin and my wanting to hold on to idols, yet His love is greater and His power stronger in that very weakness that i feel.
sorry this is so long girls! i love this blog and i love each of ya'll...can't wait to read new posts. (ps this is kindof therapeutic)
here's the last bebo norman lyric i wanted to post:
"I want to run, it's my nature to run
And I want to fight, it's my nature to fight
And I want to live, but you tell me to die
I have resolved that I'm much better off
In your hands than mine
I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
I want a crumb, but you are a feast
I want a song, but you are a symphony
I want a star, but your a galaxy
And I have resolved that I'm much better off
In what you have for me"

seek Him.

2008-11-12T10:52:00.000-08:00

yay for this new blog. i needed that quote and scripture this morning! how encouraging. i was talking to a friend recently who now does have a boyfriend... but she has definitely experienced the struggle of waiting. we said that so often there is guilt involved with the frustration with waiting. that we are often made to feel guilty because of a discontentment. but, singleness does involve suffering. it is a type of suffering. it is the absence of something that we want. but, suffering is a blessing. that is how God draws us to Himself. that's how He teaches us. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4
praise God that He would want to make me complete. and paul talks about how he has learned contentment. it did not just happen as soon as he was converted. no, through trial and trial and trial, paul learned to be content. and he was of an old age when he finally understood contentment fully.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." - philippians 4:12
i am not saying we are to continue to embrace the loneliness factor and live in self pity, but we are called to suffering, we are called to trials and that's perfectly ok. but in those trials we are to look to Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.

i really did not mean to start to spill... i tend to do that. but, here are two really, really big things that have encouraged me in the past year.

last year i struggled more in this area than i ever had... i don't know what my future holds... but, it did seem as if God really brought all of my longings and all of my fears to a head so He could really break me and draw me near to Him. it changed me and it did draw me so close to Him. during that time, my wonderful, wonderful mentor, Mrs. Barbara, gave me this verse...
"Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33
i probably say this verse to myself more than any other verse ever... i constantly go back to that and find great rest and encouragement. it brings peace to know that that's all that He calls me to do. seek Him. He will provide the rest. seeking Him involves dying to self... dying to our wants and what we may call needs... it means hard work sometimes, perseverance and stepping out of our comfort zones. but if all the while it is His kingdom that we are seeking, and not our own wants or needs, then He will provide the rest. He will provide a husband if that be His will and it will be in due time. He knows when we are ready. we don't know His plan.

ok... this one's a little silly... but this song brings great encouragement to me. it didn't mean to be given to me as encouragement, but i really do believe God set it up. a friend played it for me when i was really struggling having liked a certain guy, without really thinking about it, and she found it inappropriate and apologized where as i found it very encouraging.

"more" - sam and ruby

oh what a sad mistake that both of us have made
believing that i could be happy at putting my own peace of mind at stake
don't be mad about just be sad about it
i need more than you have to give

oh i could stay in this thing knowing there'd be no ring
knowing that there'd be no babies that i could adore and teach how to sing
don't be mad about it just be sad about it
i need more than you have to give

i need more than a casual dating life
i need more than a kiss or two a week
i need more than a long good bye at night
i need someone who can show me i am one of his needs

it's not about the crowds who say that we're a fit
how can you look at my face and then say that you really are fine with this
just admit to it this ain't no way to live
i need more than you have to give

i need more than a casual dating life
i need more than a kiss or two a week
i need more than a long good bye at night
i need someone who can show me i am one of his needs

every relationship is such a blessed gift
i could never holding a grudge when i know i could learn from it
you are beautiful but i need a miracle
i need more than you have to give

please don't be mad about just be sad about it
i need more than you have to give

ok... so the song. isn't it true though. i know that i have wanted to settle in this past... and put stock in one certain guy, when i knew that it was not right. but know exactly what we need. it was if He was saying to me, Kate you are so devestated right now, but I see past this and I have so much more for you. and two, we don't have to be mad about our past, we don't have to hang on to it. we are to let it go... God has redeemed us, past, present, and future. give it to Him. and trust that He knows what's best for you.

wow... this has gotten long. i am going to end with one quote... from a book i read last year called the allure of hope. it was written by a woman shortly after her fiance broke off their engagement. so, you must know that she was in pain and seeking Christ with all she could for comfort and answers. this is what she had to say...

"In the days following my broken engagement, I predictably couldn't shake my fiance's eyes from my memory. They are deep and clear eyes, eyes that had held such light for me. The eyes are the window to the sould; his eyes mirrored a noble and passionate soul, touched by God. I wished for the image of his eyes to go away - not out of contempt, just out of needing relief. If I could just banish those eyes from my memory, then the loss would be lessened and I could function.
God visited me there. He didn't ask me to remove my love's eyes from my heart, nor did He chide me for trying to banish his memory. He knew it was just too much for me. So He gave me a vision. The vision was of jesus waiting for me at the end of an aisle more beautiful than that of any European cathedral. When I arrived and looked in His eyes, I saw the same light I had seen in my love's eyes, only perfected and ture. I realized at that moement that the light I had loved in my fiance's eyes had been Jesus all along. Did I love this man? Oh, yes, no question. But Jesus was showing me that what I most needed, what I thought I had lost, was still with me. The vision continued with feasting and festivities celebrating our love. It surpassed anything I could imaging. I had a glimpse of finally knowing Him. I knew then that it was true:
No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no mind had imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love Him... 1 Corinthians 2:9"

ok, sorry for the massive post... i am glad all of these thoughts are recorded now though, because they are probably 3 of the biggest things that i am encouraged by and i try to encourage others with... seek His kingdom, He knows what we need.... don't settle, and He is the great love of our life.

First Post!

2008-11-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

As I was trying to figure out what to call this thing, I went to a blog called Girl Talk. A woman was talking about how she and her husband ended up together. They were best friends in highschool, and she was in love with him but had to wait forever until he felt the same way and made his move. Sometimes I'm hesitant to read those kind of stories because I feel like they give this false hope of every crush you have will end up liking you. However, these passeges were a good reminder that the man is supposed to be the initiator when sometimes it doesn't feel true anymore. Also, it was a good reminder to be patient and wait on the Lord.

So here it is:

"Plus, when all was said and done, I didn't want to be the initiator--I knew
that wasn't the role God had designed for me! To echo Carolyn's words,
"Don't you ultimately want a guy who is attracted enough to pursue you,
without needing hints from you?" Not only that, but I would also add:
"Don't you want a man who will take the lead in your relationship and
marriage and be strong as the spiritual head of the household?" It's hard
enough for men to do that without you starting things off by taking the
lead. If you initiate in the beginning, you'll be establishing a pattern that
more than likely will be incredibly hard to break..."

"...And so, although it seemed crazy, I ended things with the other guy and
kept my mouth shut. Rather than take matters into my own hands, I
stepped back and realized that I didn't "need" answers, as some had said. I
needed to trust in the Lord..."

...Looking back, I'm so thankful that God didn't give me the confirmation I
sought in advance! Though He surely could have told me, "You and Steve
will be married someday, so be patient and wait for my timing," I'm so glad
He didn't. I know I would have been tempted to take matters into my own
hands--to manipulate situations and try to bring about in my own way
what was supposed to happen! I'm unspeakably grateful that instead, He
gave me the grace to wait upon Him...

...And of course I can tell you that the wait was worth it. All those tears and
all that uncertainty seem a distant memory now that I'm married to the
man of my dreams. God used that time to draw me to Himself and to teach
me to hope in Him. He used it to prepare both Steve and me. And our
relationship unfolded in His perfect way and in His perfect time--resulting
in a love story that has His fingerprints of grace and goodness all over it...

The Lord says, I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name."Psalm 91:14 NLT

So here's the idea, we can all post on the blog when get a chance, either responding to what someone else has already written or coming up with something new. I don't know about any of you, but senior year has become a little more difficult to trust that God is in control of this area of my life. It sometimes seems like everyone around me has begun to date someone, or has gotten engaged, or even already married. I need help, and I'm guessing some of you might as well. Ultimately we just need to point each other to Christ right? Remind each other that He is our ultimate pursuer. I hope you all like this idea!